How to Restore Trust After Deception

How to restore trust after deception. When deception seeps into a relationship, breaking trust, how can a person repair it? Restoring trust does not always mean trusting the person who deceived or abused you. It often means learning from the experience, better recognizing who and what to trust, and where to be cautious.

Too many people exist in extremes. Like the pendulum of a grandfather clock, they sway too far to either side. They either approach life with their heads buried, seeing nothing wrong, or harden their hearts and live in constant suspicion. Both extremes disconnect a person from others and reality. True joy is never found in isolation. Also, joy cannot be discovered with closed eyes while navigating life.

Have you heard about the connection between broken trust and instability? So, what is it, and how are these two concepts related? The question of how to trust after deception has been asked by many after trust is broken. For more information on this subject, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2025/04/the-connection-between-broken-trust-and-instability/.

Karen Robinson, a Clinical Social Worker and friend of mine, whom I highly recommend, has helped countless people heal from traumatic experiences. If you wish to seek more information aobut her and her services, go to https://www.healthrivedream.com/.

How to Restore Joy After Deception

How is joy restored after deception? Our Bible cites over 100 passages stating that joy comes from the LORD. Yet, that frequency doesn’t mean we can passively receive this joy. It takes conscious action not to hold onto hatred. This action unbinds joy, allowing it to flow freely into our lives. Whenever we hold onto hatred, we give the perpetrator power. I struggle immensely with intense pain, limiting my physical abilities. This chronic pain has the potential to pull me down into depression. To not descend that slippery slope, I refuse to give this pain the power to rob me of a fulfilling life. I work hard at not giving this pain power to rob me of my joy, for the more I cement it in my LORD, the less my pain can rob me of this joy.

Likewise, wounds from our past have just as much power in robbing us of joy. To hold onto joy, I remind myself daily of the power of forgiveness, not for my perpetrators, but for my freedom.

Lessons on Forgiveness

Recently, I read chapter seven from the book of Acts. It told about when the masses stoned Steven to death. As he died, he asked GOD not to hold the sins against those who executed him. Forgiveness is a frequent topic within many of my blogs, yet I admit I take some comfort in believing that God will hold people accountable for their actions. People commonly teach what they most need to learn. As I read this section of the Bible, I began to wonder if I have much more to learn about forgiveness.

I brought my forgiveness question to my minister, who gave me this definition of reconciliation: “the repair of relationships to a healthy state.” Our minister, whom we lovingly call Mo, added, “A healthy relationship is characterized by mutual respect and mutual thriving, where neither one dominates the other.” What a blessing for any relationship we have that fits this description. However sad but true, far too many relationships do not.

We only have control over our part of any relationship. No human being can change another person. Too often, someone will venture into or remain in a relationship with the thought that they can change that special someone. It doesn’t take long for the misconception of that Pollyanna ideology to reveal itself.

Mo shared how, on Earth, accountability is essential to have healed relationships, adding that victims do not owe their perpetrators forgiveness. Despite that, forgiveness is critical, for it sets victims free. Without forgiveness, a victim carries the weight of their perpetrator like a heavy chain wrapped around their neck. Forgiveness is not for the perpetrator, who doesn’t even need to know. Forgiveness acts like bolt cutters, slicing chains, and setting you free.

How to Restore Trust After Deception.

Oftentimes, we punish our perpetrators by not extending forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard work, and holding on with resentment can be an easy way out.

Forgiveness is a fluid process. It grows and matures as we mature and heal. Within my current phase of healing, I strongly believe in forgiveness and its part in a person’s healing ability. I am also comforted by believing that God holds us accountable for our actions. Our Heavenly Parent, like any loving parent, forgives us as we change our ways, a crucial part of repentance.

I believe both forgiveness and accountability can simultaneously occur. Forgiveness never means forgetting what a person is capable of, especially if they have not repented and changed. This brings us back to my opening question within this blog about how to restore trust after deception. We restore trust by learning from experiences and not pretending someone is different than what they have proven through their actions.

Rights Within Forgiveness

We have a right to protect ourselves, especially from those we know from experience who can be dangerous. We have the right to look for red flags of danger and steer clear of them. This privilege is self-preservation.

I frequently pray for my ex and others who have harmed me. Despite this prayer, that does not mean I trust them. How to restore trust after deception? Trust is restored by trusting yourself, your instincts, and your intuition to decipher where danger abides. I would never trust my ex, regardless of changes he may make in the future. My mother’s changes allow me to feel safe with limited trust in her. As a result, we can now have guarded phone conversations and short visits. Yet, to fully trust my mother, she would have to change to extents that occur rarely in human beings.

For example, I forgive the bear who took down our bird feeders. One bird feeder our shaggy friend took off with, we haven’t yet found. However, I cannot trust that a bear will not do this again. It would be foolhardy of us to continue as we have been and expect different results now that Rich and I better know what the bears in our area are capable of. So, we learn from the experience and take steps toward changing how and where we hang our feeders.

The answer to my initial question, how to restore trust after deception, is much the same as my example with my ex, my mother, and the wild bear. Learn from your experiences, trust your abilities to decipher how to navigate safely and take steps forward, and then do not waver from what you know to be true.

Join Me Next Time

I invite you to join me next time as I reveal how the lies we tell ourselves cause harm.

Note to My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

An additional site where you can find my books is https://bkbookshoppe.com. However, if you prefer to purchase from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site from which you purchased it. Your review will encourage others to seek out the path of healing.

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

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How to Restore Joy After Deception

Lessons on Forgiveness

How to Restore Trust After Deception.

Rights Within Forgiveness

Join Me Next Time

Note to My Readers

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