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Is Someone Gaslighting You?

Is Someone Gaslighting You?

Is someone gaslighting you? The term “gaslighting” became popular only about a decade ago. If I had known about this concept at a younger age, I may have been able to escape abuse far earlier in my life.

It took me a while, probably longer than most, to fully understand the meaning of “to gaslight.” I now wonder if that concept was so difficult for me to comprehend because abusers have used that method on me from the start. I grew up so accustomed to people treating me in that manner that, to my perception, that was normal behavior. Also, because I was so heavily gaslit since a small child, I learned at a very young age not to trust my own memories, feelings, thoughts, and more.

Gaslighting is a powerful tool. It causes victims to question their own sanity. My ex, the father of my four children, whom I remained with for twenty-six years, cultivated a master ability to manipulate, and gaslighting is manipulation. I recall countless times revealing a memory or declaring my feelings about a particular situation, only to have him forcefully counter my words. He’d use statements such as “You can’t trust your feelings. I know better than you how you feel!” No matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise, my ex stood firm in his beliefs, saying I couldn’t be trusted with my memory or feelings.

Is Someone Gaslighting You?
Is Someone Gaslighting You?

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The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me

As a result of being treated in that way for what was then my entire life, I, early on, lost the ability to access my true feelings. I remember as a teenager attending a friend’s funeral. I pondered how a person should feel and react in such a situation, and then I reacted accordingly. Back then, I didn’t realize what I was doing. I thought I behaved sincerely. But now, after decades of healing, I clearly see that I approached life by taking my cues from others on how to “appropriately” act and feel, in what I thought was the safest way. The abuse I received from early on robbed me of any ability to access my genuine emotions.

As a child, my parents regularly told me how blessed I was to be raised in a “Godly” home by such a “Godly” man. My father, a psychotherapist and minister, drilled into my head that our home isn’t dysfunctional like all others. He also taught me, or more so scared me, into never questioning him. He set me up from the start to accept being gaslit as a natural form of interaction. It became a root foundation to support all the other forms of abuse that he, my mother, my ex, and others had inflicted upon me.

Gaslighting Causes Confusion

Before I escaped my ex by fleeing to a shelter, I remember trying to explain, even to myself, let alone to someone else, the abuse I had suffered from him. If those same atrocious actions he did to me had happened to another, I’d have had no problem seeing it as abuse. But due to the impact of his manipulation for nearly three decades, I couldn’t find words to describe his actions. Just like when, as a child, I had lost my voice because of the gaslighting tactics of my father, my ability to vocalize my ex’s abuse remained lost.

As my daughter grew into an adult, she clearly saw and elegantly vocalized the truth of her abusive father. I’ve often listened to her in awe as she described her father’s actions with ease. And yet, to this day, I still struggle to turn my inward feelings about the topic of abuse into spoken words.

To overcome this handicap instilled in me over decades of brainwashing, I’ve been learning what gaslighting is. I’ve discovered that gaslighting is psychological warfare used to manipulate another to question their own reality, sanity, memory, and ability to reason.

My ex was, and still is today, a master manipulator. He took pride in his ability to manipulate, and, sadly, he taught our children that skill as a most noteworthy trait. I can now clearly see how being gaslighted for over forty-six years eroded my confidence. Like a raging storm stirring up harsh waves that cut into the shoreline, my ability to trust my own memories and feelings was eroded, warping my sense of reality.

Is Someone Gaslighting You?

Are you being gaslit by someone, maybe a family member, friend, or coworker? How can you tell if you are at risk of someone gaslighting you? This topic is too extensive for a single blog post, so I’ve turned this into a three-part series. I invite you to join me on April 22, 2026, for part two of this informative series, when I reveal the typical behavioral traits of someone fluent in gaslighting. Knowing these manipulative patterns can alert you to protect yourself from someone’s gaslighting tactics.

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time to learn the typical traits of someone who gaslights others.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?
The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Complex CPTSD Continue to write for God. Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Grace Enters Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Installing Healthy Boundaries Invite Keep up the good work. Master New Skills My Mission My Story Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Share Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”

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