What are Typical Gaslighting Behaviors?

What are typical gaslighting behaviors? In my last blog post, I started a three-part series about gaslighting. It is found at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2026/04/is-someone-gaslighting-you/. In this previous post, I revealed how abusers had used this method of manipulation on me from the start of my life, and the damaging effects it has had on me. In today’s blog, we explore the typical behavioral traits of someone who will use gaslighting. Knowing these characteristics can act as a warning call to alert you if someone in your life may be abusing you in this way.

But first, let’s redefine the term “gaslighting.” More than a subtle manipulation, gaslighting is a disguised form of emotional abuse where the abuser intentionally twists truths or uses outright lies to mislead and confuse their victim. The damaging effects of gaslighting occur slowly over time, causing the victim to question their memories, judgments, sense of reality, and even their sanity. Gaslighting powerfully strips away the victim’s self-worth. Extreme forms of gaslighting can, over time, have drastic effects on a victim, even causing thoughts of suicide. To help you spot gaslighting, here is a list of eight common behaviors of people who gaslight.

Four Typical Gaslighting Behaviors

People who gaslight are often habitual liars with narcissistic tendencies. When called on for lying, instead of fessing up, they turn things on you. They will insist you’re making things up, remembering things incorrectly, or overreacting. They may even call you “crazy.” Lying and distorting the truth are foundational traits of gaslighting behavior. Even when it’s obvious they are being untruthful, gaslighters are gifted at convincing someone otherwise, causing their victims to second-guess themselves.

My ex frequently accused me of being unfaithful, though I never was. At the same time, he was having what he called “innocent friendships” with other women. I felt very uneasy about those “friendships.” Later, I discovered he was the unfaithful one, even though he continued to accuse me of that betrayal. When I confronted him, he abruptly turned everything around on me and made excuses for himself.

A person who gaslights changes their stories to benefit themself. This rewriting of history gives them power over their victim, discrediting the victim as they question their own memory.
Those who gaslight others use distraction tactics. When called on their actions, instead of giving an appropriate response, they often change the subject by questioning back.
People who gaslight will trivialize your emotions to gain power over you. They want you to think that your reactions are inappropriate and that you can’t trust your own instincts. They will tell you to “calm down” or insist that you’re “overreacting.” Interactions with people who don’t value your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs whittle away at your sense of worth. It causes you to question yourself, to feel shame, and to isolate, which in turn empowers the abuser.

Four More Typical Gaslighting Behaviors

People who gaslight expertly shift blame off themselves and onto their victims. They adeptly twist discussions and place fault on the victim instead of where it belongs. If the victim tries to counteract this tactic, the abuser blames the victim’s initial action for whatever resulted. They hold the victim responsible for every challenging interaction while claiming valid excuses for themselves, a merit never granted to the victim. They rewrite the rules to their advantage, expecting all others to accept the inconsistency.
Gaslighting is emotional abuse. It is bullying. Those who engage in this behavior often deny wrongdoing and refuse responsibility for their actions. They believe they are better than anyone else and an exception to the rules. Other people are treated as inferior. This behavior erodes their victim’s sense of worth, stripping them of the power to stand up for themselves and escape.
Gaslighters weaponize love and compassion. They declare their actions are done out of love. “I did this because I love you.” “I would never do anything to harm you.” They insist their actions prove that their love for you is far greater than your love for them. The sincerity they lack within these statements is easily felt.
People who gaslight are atrocious gossipers and rumor spreaders. They feign concern about you, then turn around and discredit you in front of others. They will profess lies, saying others are also making such claims against you. Sadly, people who gaslight are usually quite convincing, earning others’ support to the victim’s detriment. In this way, people often believe the abuser without knowing the full story.

The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me

I suffered from the damaging effects of my ex’s expertly placed gossip shortly after I left for the domestic abuse shelter. Much of my town turned against me, believing my ex’s lie that I had abandoned my fifteen-year-old daughter. My ex also successfully convinced my children of so many atrocious lies about me that it severed my relationship with them for many years. I praise God that since then, most of my children have begun to open their eyes to the truth. We now have a very close and fully trusting relationship. However, when they began to see what their father was capable of, they pulled away from him.

I suffer from short-term memory loss resulting from physical abuse in my childhood. My ex often used that weakness against me, insisting I can’t trust my recollections. He neglected to consider a simple fact: situations that impact emotions are transferred into long-term memory, an area of my brain that remains intact. Abusers use whatever advantages they have against their victims.

I remember attempting to fight against my ex’s gaslighting tactics. He inevitably placed all the blame on me, regardless of the situation. At those times, I’d honestly evaluate my actions and claim responsibility for my part, but his efforts to shift the blame onto me took their toll. When I took on unjustified accusations, I believed that he and my children would be better off without me. It made me suicidal. To fight out of that disastrous headspace, I held strong to claiming only my part of the equation, refusing to take on his part. Even though my ex never accepted responsibility for his actions, it became crucial that I stand firm so I can continue my life.

Gaslighting Is a Serious Matter

To see more Crystalisms, visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Being gaslighted is a serious matter. You have great worth. Never sacrifice it to the tactics of another. If you or someone you know is being gaslighted, I urge you to seek help in handling the situation before extensive damage occurs. For information on where to find help, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time as I wrap up this three-part series and explore how to detect if someone is gaslighting you.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If so, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

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Four Typical Gaslighting Behaviors

Four More Typical Gaslighting Behaviors

The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me

Gaslighting Is a Serious Matter

Upcoming Posts

Note to My Readers

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