Is Fear Stopping You?

Is fear stopping you from moving forward in your healing? We all feel fear; however, a courageous person will feel that fear and then choose to act regardless: they fight through it. Even if not everyone admits it, we are all affected by fear.

What is fear? Fear is the body’s natural alarm system, alerting us to impending danger. Our Creator placed this emotion in us for our own protection. In the early days of human existence, the typical fight-or-flight response to fear helped preserve lives. Keeping this knowledge in mind, fear has a valuable purpose.

But for those of us who’ve experienced intense trauma, our innate alarm system has had to work overtime. As a result, it can begin to function in hyper mode, going off at inappropriate times, interpreting safe moments as unsafe. Such hypervigilance causes the adrenaline system to work overtime. That person can no longer trust their body to warn them of impending danger, or they may fall into the opposite extreme and see perfectly safe situations as harmful. So how does one get out of this cycle?

A common escape from this fear-induced trend is to bury any undesired emotion. However, this method is not sustainable. Repressed fear acts like a beach ball held underwater. The deeper it is pushed below the surface, the harder it becomes to contain. Eventually, the person holding it down will lose their grip, and the ball will fling into full view with a force equal to that with which it was held. For more information on this topic, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2023/10/speak-your-truth-part-1-how-to-claim-your-value/.

Buried Emotions Don’t Go Away.

Buried emotions don’t just go away. They seep to the surface disguised as other emotions such as depression and anger.

I learned from the abusive parents who raised me to view anger as an evil emotion derived from the devil himself. This damning concept reinforced their religious abuse of my sister and me. Not wanting to fall into the clutches of the evil one, I began at an early age to bury my anger along with my fear. Doing this turned off my natural alarm system that would warn me when in the company of dangerous people. But all buried emotions, in time, will seep out under the disguise of something more acceptable. In my case, that more acceptable form was depression, which plagued me for most of my life.

In my last blog, https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2026/08/be-your-best-advocate/, I introduced you to Ren. My relationship with her is the perfect example of how my buried fear manifests as depression. Despite Rich’s and my love for Ren, she has caused a lot of havoc in our lives. Managing our relationship with her has been a source of tension. My experiences with Ren have given me reason to fear her. But I felt that I had no right or control over the situation, so I held my tongue and buried my fear.

A couple of months ago, Rich and I openly talked about Ren’s influence on our lives. The day after that candid conversation, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. Instead of shutting down in depression caused by repressed fear, a new level of joy and security entered me. This led me to wonder how much of the depression I’ve suffered from over the years was caused by buried fear.

Impacts of Repressed Emotions

When an emotion such as fear is repressed, it still affects us. But that effect comes in a disguised form while hiding behind the mask of a secondary emotion. Some of these secondary emotions, along with anger and depression, include shame, doubt, insecurity, resentment, martyrdom, victimhood, and stoicism.

Continuously holding up a mask before an emotion is exhausting. It depletes the person doing this of strength and energy. It causes harm by disconnecting a person from their genuine self.

I understand the desire to avoid facing unpleasant emotions and their effect on you. But unprocessed emotions harm a person just as much as the initial incident that originally caused it. The only way toward freedom is through the courage to move forward into the reality of what you are facing. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” A good therapist or trusted friend can help you take this brave step into the unknown.

To see more Crystalisms, visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Rich is my safe space. He unconditionally loves and accepts me. His presence in my life is a key factor in my healing and my ability to develop into my true self. Yet, his love alone isn’t enough to keep my past habits from intruding on our lives.

For example, I frequently find myself wanting or needing to make what most would consider a small confession to Rich. By “small confession,” I mean something minor like admitting that the burned scent in the air came from my not turning his pancakes in time, resulting in them being overcooked. As silly as it may seem, as I prepare to tell him this, my heart races with fear, and panic-induced adrenaline shoots through my veins. My body still reacts to the old habits formed in my childhood because it wasn’t safe to confess anything, no matter how small.

Using Fear to Control Others

Fear is an excellent control tool that many abusers use on their victims. The father who raised me had a degree and career in psychotherapy. He knew the power of inflicting fear on others, and he wielded that sword expertly.

From early on, my parents beat the mindset into me that I had to be perfect. They did not allow me to make mistakes. I have artistic and musical skills. I did my first oil painting at age seven, and began playing the piano while a preschooler. However, my parents limited me to only the forms of music and art that they deemed acceptable. Stretching my creative abilities beyond their expectations raised condemnation. This is part of the religious abuse my parents inflicted on me.

My fear of confession developed out of self-preservation. In my childhood home, and even within the home I shared with my ex, slip-ups of any sort were not tolerated. To protect myself, I limited my artistic abilities to the areas I felt comfortable enough with to succeed in. And while doing this, I developed the ability to mask anytime my performance fell beneath either my parents’ or my ex’s standards.

During those collective forty-six years, that mask served me well. It protected me. However, wearing such a mask becomes emotionally exhausting. It disconnects a person from their genuine self. Mask-wearing can produce years of unprocessed stress that, if not addressed, will take its toll on a person. Today, I work hard to permanently remove that protective mask now that it is no longer needed. This type of work takes time, consistency, and persistence.

The current fear I battle with is my health issues. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has taken a toll on my body. Over the past thirty or more years, the degenerative effects of this syndrome have worsened notably each year. As a result, I worry about my future. To enjoy any out-of-the-norm activity, I pay a price, because it knocks me backward in strength and my ability to function. Recovery time is lengthy and often lands me in depression.

I desire adventures, like anyone. Years ago, I gave up wanting the type of adventures that required travel, and I surrendered to contentment from smaller excursions. Yet even the thought of those simpler activities brings on a fear that a day at our county fair, or wherever planned, may take too much out of me to be worth it.

This is where I return to the question asked at the start of this blog post: Is fear stopping you? I encourage you to look within yourself and see where fear may have kept you prisoner. Is that repressed life really what you want, or do you want freedom? If freedom is your choice, I invite you to visit https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/. On it, you will find many valuable resources that may help you succeed.

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time to explore how to take control of your own life.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows me to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This opportunity is why I’ve chosen to write my books in this genre. May all of you who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in your healing journey. I hope you have found value in this blog post.

If so, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

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Buried Emotions Don’t Go Away.

Impacts of Repressed Emotions

Using Fear to Control Others