Beware of the Narcissist’s Mask.

Beware of the narcissist’s mask. Take caution, for a seasoned narcissist will often skillfully hide behind the mask of a victim. This is a painful lesson I’ve had to learn on more than one occasion. Recently, I had to relearn this lesson at a costly level. Matthew 7:15 warns us to be cautious of people who appear kind and honorable on the surface, but underneath this carefully constructed disguise, they harbor harmful intentions. I’m still discovering ways to recognize those people who hide behind such deceitful disguises.

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I’ve fallen victim to this type of person more often than I wish to admit. I tend to trust too quickly and ignore too many red warning flags. My desire to believe in the best of humankind has too often left me stung by its potentially lethal stinger. I’m finding out that my autistic tendencies are one reason I’ve continued to fall victim to this type of personality, as my research has revealed that autistic people become victims of abuse at a far higher rate. The more I learn about how my autism affects me, the more I understand this fact.

Since birth, I have been the victim of multiple forms of abuse. I reveal many details of this abuse and its effect on me throughout my previous blog posts. I finally broke free at age forty-six. Since freeing myself from those chains, I’ve dedicated myself to helping others trapped in abuse break free. My naturally compassionate personality has proven useful in this advocacy work, but it also carries a downside. Empathy makes me vulnerable to predators who wear the mask of a victim.

Common Narcissistic Symptoms

My empathic self finds it difficult to comprehend that others do not view the world with such compassion. Whereas the narcissistic person may feign empathy, in reality, they approach life with a heightened sense of self-importance, seeking profit and gain from their victims. Narcissists lack the ability to understand and care about other people’s feelings. Their overinflated sense of self-worth will quickly crack at the slightest criticism, and then the fangs come out. If you spot these traits in a person, see them as red flags. You may be dealing with a Narcissist.

Inflated sense of self-importance.
Demand constant praise and admiration.
Feel they are above common rules and laws and deserve special privileges and treatments.
They expect excessive recognition and to be treated as superior without earning it.
Overinflating their accomplishments.
They invest an obsessive amount of time and energy fantasizing over power, success, and desires.
Believe they are so superior to others that no one is qualified to teach them skills.
Act as if others should be honored for the privilege of their time.
They are critical and dehumanizing toward other people.
Will take advantage of others to get what they want.
They are unable or unwilling to recognize other people’s feelings and needs.
Believe they are envied by society; however, they secretly envy others.
They will brag, be arrogant, and conceited.
When they don’t get what they want, they lash out.
Feel cheated if things don’t go their way.
Belittle people and treat them with contempt.
Unable to manage their emotions and behaviors, they easily fall into rage.

Beware of the Narcissist’s Mask.

Emotional abuse is the narcissist’s greatest tactic. As the narcissist emotionally wears down their victim, they gain control over them. Our greatest defense is to heed those red flags early on so we can protect our emotional selves from their attacks and exercise strict boundaries when dealing with a known narcissist. I’ve found out the hard way that it’s best never to trust a narcissist. They will never, under any circumstances, have your best interests in mind. They will act as if they care about you and are there for you to hook you, but in time, the truth will be revealed that everything they do is for their own self-gain.

How Does Someone Become a Narcissist?

I fully believe no one is born an abuser. Because God created each one of us, God’s ever-abiding love is woven into the very fabric of our being. But then life happens. Some people make it through the challenges life dishes out with far fewer wounds than others. We each have the choice of what to do with the scars those wounds turn into. Will we use them for good and allow them to become “beauty marks” as illustrated in my book, Robin’s Gift, or will we let those wounds fester and poison our inner personhood?

If no one is born a narcissist, how does a person become one? Certain people have been born with the predisposition for narcissism. That genetic component, combined with certain childhood experiences, culture, and environmental influences, when whipped together, can form the perfect recipe to create a narcissistic being.

It’s estimated that 79% of narcissistic tendencies have genetic roots. Such tendencies include inherited temperaments toward seeking rewards and being less naturally empathetic. This blend, if not properly nurtured, can develop into a narcissistic personality. For more information about narcissistic traits, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2024/07/tricks-of-the-narcissistic-trade/.

By advocating for survivors of abuse, I place myself in a vulnerable position. Especially since, in my advocacy, I share intimate aspects of my past and my personality. People who intend to harm are magnetized toward people like me. One thing that makes a predator so dangerous is that they are typically not obvious to spot. A seasoned predator will hide under the disguise of a victim. This type of person is skilled at this masquerade because many of them have once been victims themselves. However, due to their narcissistic predisposition, personal choices, and other factors, instead of developing compassion toward other victims, they become predators.

Learning Caution

It’s human nature to gravitate toward people with similar experiences. This fact acts as a magnetizing thread that draws me toward others who, like me, have been abused, are autistic, and/or suffer from Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I’m learning that I need to be cautious that such a connection doesn’t attract me to predators concealed behind sheep’s clothing.

At times, when someone I’ve too quickly trusted has let their mask slip, revealing malicious objectives, I’ve battled the urge to withdraw from society and give up on trusting altogether. Such a decision would ensure that I’m never again harmed by people who intend ill will. But taking such extreme action would cause me more harm than good. It would place a barrier between me and the relationships that fill my soul with love and joy.

By learning more about myself, my weaknesses, and my strengths, while educating myself on how a narcissistic person works, I’m learning to protect myself better while remaining active in society. To read more about the narcissistic personality disorder, see https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-presonality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662.

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time to explore what healthy boundaries look like.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in their healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If so, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

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This Post Has 2 Comments

Natalie July 15, 2026

Wow! So much in your writing is so familiar. Even things I’ve seen but but never understood. Everyday is a learning experience.
1. Crystal MM Huntley July 16, 2026
  
  I’m happy to hear that my blogs are helping you recognize signs of abuse. Noticing that something feels wrong is very common, even if you can’t explain it at first. Understanding what’s happening can give you the strength to move forward.

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Common Narcissistic Symptoms

Beware of the Narcissist’s Mask.

How Does Someone Become a Narcissist?

Learning Caution

Upcoming Posts

Note to My Readers

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This Post Has 2 Comments