Is Something Missing this Christmas?

Is something missing this Christmas? Many people lose their sense of joy over the holiday season. Contrary to what many think, Christmas is not a joyous season for everyone. The holidays are filled with nostalgia, memories, and expectations. Aspects that, though invigorating to many, may overwhelm others, causing struggles during this holiday season. If you are having a hard time facing this season, know that you are not alone.

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Recently, I stood in my living room, surrounded by the freshly decorated tree and other decorations that marked the Christmas season. As I took in the results of our efforts, it filled me with a deep sense of peace. Yet, Christmas hadn’t always felt this way for me. Though year after year, I’d declare this holiday as my favorite time of the year, yet, in truth, for many years, it centered around some of my most depressed moments.

The Ghost of Christmas Past

Growing up in an abusive home, I used fantasy as one of my most effective survival tools. The dream of a storybook Christmas fell perfectly into my imagination, acting as a solid protective barrier between me and reality. Having been raised in a snowy, northern climate aided my fairytale holiday efforts.

Despite my parents’ adequate income, they claimed to be too poor to provide me with many necessities. Their Scrooge-like attitude also meant that they skimped significantly on extras, including gifts. As a child, I refused to let their closed-fisted attitude discourage me. Instead, I took it upon myself to do what my parents would not do.

The day after Thanksgiving, I gathered construction paper, ribbons, and any festive items I could find. Escaping to the privacy of my bedroom, I created paper chains to hang as streamers, cut out snowflakes, constructed snowmen and ornaments, and did any other representation of Christmas I could think of. I filled every room with my hand-made creations while piping Christmas music throughout the house from our old-time stereo. At around age six, I began this tradition. I advanced it as I grew older and kept it going for as long as I lived in my childhood home.

Even though my parents informed me, by age eight, of the truth behind the Santa Claus legend, I felt determined to continue with the fantasy. I knew my parents would only provide me with a skimpy amount of presents under the Christmas tree. Yet, instead of feeling saddened, I saved as much money as I could throughout the year to purchase and make gifts for my parents. I wanted them to feel lavished in love during this season of giving.

Is Something Missing this Christmas?

Once I had children of my own, my desire to put on the perfect, fairytale Christmas intensified. Each year, I approached the oncoming holiday season with anticipation and excitement, determined to give my children what my parents could never give me. As the years went by, my ability to hide behind that fantasy weakened. The reality of why things had happened as they did gained strength. With the slippage of my fantasy came depression. Yet, still, for many years, I successfully hid behind a false smile and pressed on.

The Christmas of 2011 marked the last Christmas my children, their father, and I spent together as a “family.” As our divorce went down, my narcissistic ex —I have reason to assume a professional would give him a more severe diagnosis—did everything he could to poison my four children against me. Sadly, his scheming, talented ways succeeded. As a result, winter and spring, marking the arrival of Christmas and Mother’s Day, became months that were clouded with depression. I hated those times of the year, wishing I could skip them with no conscious awareness of their arrival. Yet in this world, that wish is impossible.

Truth Always Comes Out

Because of everything I went through, I know firsthand how challenging the holiday season can be. But I’ve discovered that no one can permanently hide behind a mask and nothing can remain hidden forever. In time, the truth always comes out. About a decade after my divorce date, my ex’s deceptive mask slipped from his face, and my children began to see the truth. As a result, my oldest son and my youngest child, my daughter, in particular, went through many trials. However, blessings came with what they had experienced. It freed them from their father’s lies, allowing them to reconcile with me and regain what we had lost.

Relating to Job

As I look back on all that I had lost and where I am today, I can relate to the story of Job as it is depicted in Jeremiah. Verses 13-22 tell of how Job had lost everything dear to him, his children, his wealth, and his health. These treasures were also ripped away from me, throwing me into a long season of despair. However, I never gave up hope, for our Lord and Savior is always faithful to those who rely on Him. Even as all else was being ripped away, I clung tight to the faith I held in my Savior’s loving nature.

And God fulfilled his promise. Job remained faithful to his Lord, who rewarded him by restoring all he had lost and blessing him with even more. You can read about it in Job 42:10. Likewise, my Loving Heavenly Parent restored me with all I had lost and blessed me with much more.

Finding Christmas Joy

Today, I cherish the true family relationships I have with my two children, their spouses, and their children. Holiday seasons are now spent surrounded by the joy of grandchildren. I also now know what true love is and am blessed to both give and receive it. Now, I even have a real home, not just a roof over my head surrounded by four walls. I never thought such a miracle could happen, yet it did! And I praise God daily for my Savior’s abundant blessings. All of this, I could not have gained without first giving up my old, dysfunctional life and, while holding onto faith, doing my part to build a new life that points toward a beautiful future.

I know the holidays can be challenging, but remember, you are never alone. If you suffer this time of year, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202312/8-common-holiday-season-triggers?msockid=0b90dc69b83a6f381432ca07b9176ed5 is one of many helpful resources that can aid you in getting through this season.

My intent in sharing my story is to restore hope in you so you can experience the peace and joy of this season and every day to come. For more information on finding hope and peace throughout Christmas, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2024/12/are-you-seeking-your-savior/ and https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2023/12/what-gift-would-you-bring-to-the-manger/.

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time to explore the differences between change and surrender.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. I pray that all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment and enjoyment. I also pray that you become inspired to move forward in your healing journey. May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

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The Ghost of Christmas Past

Is Something Missing this Christmas?

Truth Always Comes Out

Relating to Job

Finding Christmas Joy

Upcoming Posts

Note to My Readers

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