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What Seeds Have You Sown?

What Seeds Have You Sown?

What seeds have you sown in your lifetime? Everyone, at some point in their existence, sits back and evaluates what they have done with their life, the essence of the midlife crisis. Certain achievements point toward success in worldly terms, while other, less recognized accomplishments fall far under the radar.

A downfall to having spent my life escaping and healing from abuse, not to mention managing EDS, a degenerative syndrome, is that all this survival work has monopolized my strength, time, and energy. Overcoming the obstacles of abuse and disability has made it impossible to pursue a college degree and, consequently, the career I once dreamed of. As a result, the achievements I’ve gained are not those typically recognized by world standards.

While discussing this with my daughter, I mentioned my inability to reach a larger audience through my writing. I want my blog posts to have a positive impact on those who need the help I’m offering. My daughter responded with“Success is best measured in seeds not planted to root forever.” Her response displayed wisdom. She further explained that a person’s greatest achievements are never obtained during their lifetime. Monumental successes span generations as their sown seeds sprout into mature plants that then drop more seeds, leading to endless growth.

I must remind myself that the work I did to break through the chains of abuse, while not submitting to the degenerative effects of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, holds great worth. What I overcame is an accomplishment unmatched by earning that coveted degree and gaining that prestigious career. Just because what I triumphed over is not recognized by society, that does not diminish its value in any way.

The Seed of Forgiveness

I hope to spread the seed of forgiveness. Many survivors recoil when forgiveness enters the abuse equation. This reaction often stems from misunderstandings and harmful teachings about forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not to excuse someone’s actions, as many authority figures teach. I believe the exact opposite: Forgiveness keeps an abuser’s actions from destroying your heart. Many people believe forgiveness is for and about the perpetrator, but I profoundly disagree with their interpretation. Forgiveness is for you. It is a tool that sets you free from the cords that bind you to that person and/or event. If a perpetrator wants to be forgiven, it requires work on their part, separate from their victim.

As a result of the forgiveness work that I’ve done, I can now speak of events from my past without feeling their sting. It hasn’t always been that way. Before I advanced this to this place in my healing, I couldn’t relay such traumatic occurrences without being pulled back into the feelings and emotions attached to them. But those days have passed. I’m free from being drawn back in because of all the work I’ve done to heal and to forgive.

Forgive and Forget

I do not believe in the concept of “forgive and forget.” I feel retaining those memories is critical. They provide valuable resources for future growth. For more on this, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2026/05/forgiving-vs-forgetting/.

To give an example, I’ll use the tiger attack that critically mauled trainer Richard Chipperfield with the Ringling Brothers’ Circus in 1998. No matter how gentle and well-trained a tiger may be, the animal’s instincts remain intact. Those instincts will arise, meaning that the animal can never be trusted not to bite. The same truth holds with seasoned abusers. We can choose to forgive what they did, but to protect ourselves and others, we need to remember what they are capable of. By keeping the event in mind, we hold on to the lesson and help prevent it from happening again.

Someone recently told me they refuse to forgive because the word “give” is in the word “forgive.”  I found their observation interesting and took some time to consider their viewpoint. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t reconcile it with my definition of forgiveness. After much thought, I concluded that I don’t view forgiveness as giving anything to the offender. I interpret forgiveness as offering a gift to myself—the gift of freedom.

When Natalie, in Robin’s Gift, fled her past for a better future, she, at first, attempted to hide from it. Hiding is a form of forgetting. Natalie soon learned that the past refuses to remain hidden. Once she summoned the courage to embrace her truth, her chains of abuse shattered, setting her free. To discover more about Natalie’s journey, I invite you to read Robin’s Gift. It is found on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

The Seed of Trust

Once trust has been violated, it is difficult to rebuild it. Sadly, one trust violation often spreads far beyond that isolated occurrence. It impacts relationships with others, impeding a victim’s ability to trust in general. I’ve recently experienced a situation where trust has been violated in my writing world. As a result, I’m battling the urge to pull within and trust no one in this area again. However, I must fight against that fear-based feeling, for if I don’t, it would only cause me more harm. Instead of closing all doors to trust, I’m working on using that experience to improve my ability to discern when, whom, and under what circumstances it’s safe to trust.

I can forgive someone and, at the same time, choose not to trust them. Forgiving them allows me to release the hurt and anger I’ve carried. Choosing not to trust those who have proven untrustworthy keeps unsafe people out of my life. I forgive at my own pace, and I do it for my peace of mind and freedom, not to grant the offender a pardon or access into my life. Forgiveness and reconnection are very different entities. I don’t need to carry those who chose manipulation and harmful draining actions with me into my new future of freedom.

Learning to trust in safe and appropriate ways can be very rewarding. If I close my heart to trust, I miss out on its benefits. I’m determined to master this balance of when, whom, and how much to trust to remain safe and still reap its sweet rewards.

What Seeds Have You Sown?
What Seeds Have You Sown?

To see more Crystalisms, visit  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

The Seed of Self

A planted seed I’ve been nurturing is the seed of self. As I water this seed and give it nutrients so it will grow, I find myself. Nurturing my seed frees me to find my genuine self, no longer bound to pretend to be that person others around me have wanted me to be. I strongly believe that the best way to honor my Heavenly Parent is to be fully who my Creator intended me to be. I also believe that our Savior gives us all the tools we need to develop into our best selves. Some of those tools humans often perceive as handicaps, but God can use anything for Divine Glory.

My Heavenly Parent never wanted me to be abused. But it happened. And when it did, my Loving Holy Parent carried me through those experiences and brought me to a space where I can use them for my Savior’s glory. For some reason, My Lord also created me Autistic, Dyslexic, and with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Some might call all three of these traits tragic misfortunes, but I view them differently. I choose to use these attributes as assets. They had a share in shaping who I am. They’ve given me strength I would not have had otherwise. They provide me with tools to use as I reach out to others. God planted a perfect seed within each one of us. What can you do today to nurture that seed, so you develop into that uniquely beautiful creation God intended you to be?

Disclosure

I want to remind you that I’m not a therapist of any sort. I’m a survivor of abuse, journeying down my own personal healing path. The only thing that may set me apart from others is my decision to share what I’ve learned along the way to aid others as they navigate their own healing path. To further support your healing journey, I invite you to my hotline/resource page at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time to explore whether or not it is possible to forgive someone who has harmed you.

Note to My Readers

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If so, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Complex CPTSD Continue to write for God. Disclosure Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Grace Enters Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Invite Keep up the good work. Master New Skills My Mission My Story Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Share Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?
The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

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