Are you being misguided by lies with important decisions? Many of these lies come in the form of clichés. My mother was the queen of clichés. She spoke with an abundance of those far-to-often repeated phrases as if they embodied jewels of insight. Continuously hearing those supposed “words of wisdom” throughout my youth, I tried to live by them. As I began to heal, I started seeing the damage caused by following such statements. Truth be told, they carried on within me the abuse from my past.
Two Common Clichés
You may recognize some of those clichés. One is “Either do something all the way or not at all.” I followed this lie in everything I did. I strove to do my very best in every task I undertook. Now, don’t get me wrong. Under certain situations, this statement does hold wisdom. Yet, it is impossible to tackle every task with this extreme expectation. Attempting to do so will lead to frequent failures. An inability to live up to such an impossible expectation will cause considerable damage. In time, it will imprint on a person that they are not good enough.
Another cliché often said is “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.” The concept may have originated from the Bible, yet it, like so many scriptures, is too often used out of context. These two heavily repeated phrases combined and ingrained in me. They caused me to grow up believing my self-worth rested on how well I kept everything spotless.
During my childhood years, I kept an immaculate room. This method of existence bled into my early adulthood. I continuously battled following that destructive concept as I raised my children. Yet the degenerative syndrome that ravaged my body made it impossible to live up to the cliché’s expectations. I now must accept that cleaning one room in my house in a day may be all I can do. That limited amount of housecleaning may be my new best, and that is okay.
A Doozy
Many twisted Biblical teachings develop into these clichés. See Religious Abuse https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/religious-abuse-revealing-the-signs-can-you-see-them/(opens in a new tab). Here is a doozy—“God never gives us more than we can handle.” People have repeated this saying all my life. I’ve realized with maturity how such a statement will implant false concepts within us. This particular saying spoon feeds the lie that trials we face come from God. God did not cause my parents to abuse me. God had nothing to do with the man across the street molesting and raping the childhood me. And God did not turn my ex into an abusive husband and father.
Your Choice
Every action we take has consequences. Trials exist due to decisions we and others have made from the beginning of human existence. Ask this question when making decisions. Will we allow previous inflictions to break us and turn us bitter? Or, on the other hand, do we choose the healing path? My encouragement to help you choose the latter is one of the reasons that I write these blogs. Choosing to hold onto wounds and becoming bitter is the pathway toward becoming an abuser yourself.
God doesn’t expect us to tackle life’s challenges on our own. On the contrary, our Savior desires us to hand our hardships to Him. When we lean on God for strength and guidance, He will light our way through.
Yet Another One
Here is another cliché. “God helps those who help themselves.” This statement indicates we have the power to create our future. I believe our Lord wants us to be active participants in our lives. Our Lord does not want us to roll over and expect Him to do everything for us. God created us as intelligent and capable beings. However, God helps those who trust in and surrender to Him. Such a minute distortion as this cliché holds makes a huge difference. Again, these misrepresentations often turn into religious abuse.
Lies shout at us from all angles, but the worst lies we listen to are often those we tell ourselves. We repeat falsehoods in our minds that others have spoken to us. And then we take those lies and build on them. Before we know it, our brains play a looped track of damaging untruths. We end up endlessly listening to phrases like, “You’re no good.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “You won’t ever change.” An endless number of such hurtful statements exist.
When someone abuses, they program their victim to accept abuse. In this way, the harm carries on long after the abuse incident has occurred. In a sense, the abuser trains their victims to self-abuse. Natalie, in Robin’s Gift, spent nearly three decades trapped in the chains of such destructive lies. They clouded her reality, keeping her from receiving joy. Once free, Natalie could enter the blessed life the Savior had waiting for her. You can discover how Natalie finally gained the courage to break free by reading my book Robin’s Gift.
Breaking Out
Awareness is the first step to breaking out of this trap. Alert yourself to lies. Remain strong and counteract every assault. Then repeat powerful statements like, “I AM WORTHY!” “I HAVE GREAT POTENTIAL!” “I WILL GROW BEYOND THIS!” To simplify things, whatever lie holds you in bondage, find its counterpart. Continuously say this truth to yourself until you believe it and silence the lie. This practice will strengthen you to break free from that abusive chain.
Lies may have painted your past. In addition, no matter how hard one may try, no one can completely forget their past. However, anyone can heal from it. Consequently, regardless of how tainted, your former years hold importance. Glean from the many powerful lessons that exist within those bygone days.
Even God cannot change the past. However, anyone can break free, so your former days no longer dominate your future. To sum this up, stop regretting your history and start finding reasons to be grateful.
Key to Healing
An attitude of gratitude is a pivotal ingredient toward healing. Natalie, a character in Robin’s Gift, attempted in vain to run from her past. And Aldous, in The Hidden Diamond, squandered much of his life trying to bury his earlier years. Both characters discovered their methods did nothing more than waste precious time.
Look toward your younger self with compassion and embrace it. Regardless of what your past consisted of, blessings did exist. So, unlock those blessings and discover their beauty. You will find one of those many blessings is that it created who you are today. I can’t think of a more glorious gift.
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Be Diligent
Twisted statements come in endless supply. Remain diligent with them. When you hear such commonly repeated phrases, think them through. Always remember, you are worthy of the truth. Does truth reside within that statement, or did it result from misguided words passed down throughout the generations? Here is a good litmus test to help you weigh the wisdom within such words. Does the statement sound like something that would come from a loving God? I use this question to continue to build my foundational relationship with my Lord.
On the Fun Side
Here is a cliché I’ve discovered rings true, at least for me. “Haste makes waste.” Inevitably, whenever I hurry, I drop things and create messes. Such blunders occur because of my unstable joints and constant dizziness due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. As a result, whenever I feel the need to hurry, I remind myself that, in my case, moving fast has the opposite effect.
What clichés have you heard that ring with falsehoods? I invite you to message me on my webpage or at https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761 and share your experiences.
Note To My Readers
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can buy The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY-the-BOOK https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-. Two additional sites where you can find my books are https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.
Advancing My Healing Journey A Reinterpretation Back to the Basics Blessings Surround Us Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Christmas Complex CPTSD Don’t Get Stuck. Excerpt from The Hidden Diamond Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Glorify God Through Your Challenges. Happenings or Interpretations? Hiding From Ourselves Hope Invite Listen to the Soft Whisper. Master New Skills Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Rock Climbing Seek Understanding Shame Has No Place Summer’s Story Surrender Surrendering Take a Step Back. Take the Challenge The Choice Is Yours The Commitment to Braking Chains of Abuse The Gift of New Perspective The Hidden Diamond The Still Small Voice To My Readers Unhealed Wounds Unwittingly Harm Others. Upcoming Posts Use Caution We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. What Is Your Lesson? Why I Write You Are Worthy!
