Who Truly Are You?

Who truly are you? I’m not asking for your name, where you come from, or what you do. I’m asking this question from a far deeper perspective. With all your titles stripped away, who truly are you?

It’s difficult for anyone to hold onto their genuine sense of worth. Often, people inflate their own value. Or they take the opposite extreme and underestimate their self-worth. I’ve always leaned toward the side of diminishing my worth both as a human being and as a child of God. Such belittlement toward oneself is common among abuse victims. On the other side of this equation, abusers often overestimate their value as rated above others. They use their puffed-up, exaggerated self-image as a tool to justify their actions.

To compensate for a false sense of worth, people tend to place their identity on fleeting things such as physical appearances, achievements, career titles, and much, much more. But none of those things last. So, I’ll ask you again. Who truly are you without them?

Our first understanding of our inner value is rooted in our parents. Children raised in loving households begin life with an advantage. They know they are loved, and that they are worthy of such love. Because of this knowledge, they tend to seek out nothing less, which provides them with a solid, protective barrier against abuse. When parents have what it takes to plant and nourish this love-seed within their children, these children start life with a strong asset to carry them through whatever challenges they may encounter throughout their lifetime.

Self-Worth Shattered

But what about the child whose parents never gave them such a valuable seed? I was one of those children. From a very young age, I learned to view myself as flawed. I believed God cursed me with diminished worth. Such a powerful lie carries with it the weight to inflict much damage on anyone who holds onto it. To get where I am today, I had to reject that damaging thought process. Then I could search out my “worth seed” from other sources and provide it with life-affirming nourishment.

I grew up in a home, like countless others, where those who raised me were themselves very wounded. They could not instill in me a solid, healthy self-image because they also lacked that asset. And, for one reason or another, they never broke through those suffocating chains of abuse. Instead, they continued to forge additional heavy links and wrapped them around my sister and me. A monumental event that shattered any inner value I may have had before that time occurred at age eight.

My mother instructed my sister and me to frequently visit the older couple who lived across the street from us. On many of these visits, the man expertly navigated situations to get either my sister or me alone with him. During these times, he molested us. I reveal more about this story at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2024/03/suicide-its-a-devastating-effect-of-abuse-how-to-get-help/.

Turning Abuse into Action

I clearly remember the day I got the courage to tell my mother. Mother and I sat together at the piano as she instructed me on a new lesson. I couldn’t hold in the secret any longer of what “Aldous” (This is the name I used for our neighbor in my book The Hidden Diamond.) had done to me. I burst into tears and told my mother. Later that day, she and Father retreated to the den to discuss how to handle the situation. My sister and I easily heard their loud voices through the closed door.

Mother and Father emerged from the den and declared that “Aldous” was an upstanding citizen of our town and that we must protect his reputation. My sister and I were told that we were never again to mention this incident. Our parents’ declaration cemented within me that I had no value and was to be used as a sacrificial lamb to keep the secret of our town’s molester.

I wrote my first book, The Hidden Diamond, in an effort to forgive this neighbor for his actions. I used my writing as a tool to help me break through the abuse chains that he and my parents had secured around me. For this reason, instead of focusing on the crimes inflicted on me, I focused on Aldous seeking forgiveness. If you haven’t yet read The Hidden Diamond, I invite you to do so. Perhaps this story I’ve written contains what you need to heal from past wounds.

Aphiemi – to Forgive

Recently, I discovered something fascinating while reading chapter 11 in the book of John. Verse 44 states, “Unbind him and let him go.” Other translations use the term “untie,” “unwrap,” “loose,” or even “take off the cloth.” After some research, I discovered that the Greek word“Aphiemi” carries a similar meaning to the word “unbind.” However, its Greek counterpart takes this meaning even further. “Aphiemi” also means to forgive. If you wish to learn more about this fascinating discovery, see http://www.preceptaustin.org/forgive-aphiemi-greek-word-study.

To take this revelation even further, I went to Luke and reread about the crucifixion, where in verse 34, Jesus states, “Forgive them. They know not what they do.”

In my blog post and other writings, I frequently use the phrase “Breaking the Chains of Abuse.” I feel that a person becomes fully free from every heavy, binding link only when forgiveness is incorporated in the process of breaking those chains. Forgiveness is not to excuse the actions of a perpetrator. It is to set their victims free.
With this freedom, a person can advance from victimhood to survivor and ultimately step into a thriving life. To read more about this, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2025/05/how-to-learn-not-to-be-a-victim/.

A part of breaking those chains is severing links that hold us to false beliefs. This includes letting go of false images of ourselves. Even if the formative people in your life could not plant and nurture a seed of love within you, you still have that seed. This is because God planted a love-seed in each of us. It’s up to us to nurture it.

To see more Crystalisms, visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

So, again I ask, who truly are you, and what can you do today to nourish your Value Seed?

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time to explore the benefits of sharing our stories.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift there at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

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Self-Worth Shattered

Turning Abuse into Action

Aphiemi – to Forgive

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Note to My Readers

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