How Giving Can Heal the Giver

Have you ever experienced how giving can heal the giver? I hope you have, because it can be a powerful experience. I have consistently witnessed wounded souls so wrapped up in their own traumatic situations that they convince themselves that they suffer far worse than anyone else. This mindset is a dangerous place to settle into. For once a person entertains such a way of thinking, they close themselves off, limiting compassion towards others and becoming self-engrossed, making it even more difficult to climb out of this destructive place and into a state of healing.

To illustrate how giving can heal the giver, I will share with you a recent experience I’ve had with a lady I met a little over a year ago. Her name is Patricia Louise Burgess.

During the summer of 2024, our church received notification that a fellow Episcopalian from a nearby town had become a current resident within our local nursing home. Rich and I joined with other members of our congregation to meet this lady. At that time, Patricia was ninety-two years old. Having never been married and having no children of her own, Patricia had outlived virtually everyone else within her family, leaving her alone.

The frail, petite body that lay in the hospital bed contrasted greatly with the glow on her face from a broad smile as she declared her joy at seeing us. Her elation extended even more toward Finney, our Westie, who tagged along with us. This significant introduction marked the beginning of a life-changing relationship.

Giving Heals the Giver

Rich and I felt intensely called to continue frequent visits with Patricia. Before long, I had fallen in love with this dear soul. We carved out time at least once a week to spend with our new friend, but our involvement did not end there. We often came bearing gifts to fill her hours spent alone with additional cheer. Patricia loved Canada Dry ginger ale, suckers, and chewing gum, so Rich and I made certain she always had a ready supply. We brought Patricia special foods and gifts to celebrate her ninety-third birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Easter.

Patricia shared many aspects of her fascinating life with us. She was raised in the parsonage; her father having been the minister of the Ascension Episcopal Church in Ontognagon, Michigan. At a young age, Patricia received official Altar Guild training. She beamed with joy when Rich and I told her that we, too, were undergoing education in that same ministry.

Patricia

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Patricia’s hands were crippled into a claw-like formation. She often spoke of how much she had loved playing the organ for church. Due to her short stature, which, when standing tall, may have reached four feet ten inches, Patricia said her brother would place a coffee table in front of the organ for her to sit on. This allowed her feet to connect with the pedals while she reached her hands above her head to touch the keyboard.

Patricia held an extra strong love toward our Westie, Finney, and we soon discovered why. During her younger years, she worked as a head nurse in New York City. While there, she also raised Westies, having as many as seven at one time. She showed them in the esteemed Westminster Dog Show. The countless stories Patricia shared about her beloved dogs gave the impression that her time with them was the highlight of her life.

Patricia had spent decades nurturing a strong-willed personality that contrasted sharply with her petite size. Her sharp mind remained always ready to deliver witty humor.

One of her favorite comical statements, Patricia frequently said, with a glimmering wink, was, “I literally have my foot in my mouth.” Then she shared with us that as a child, she had contracted Scarlet Fever, which destroyed her jawbones. So, a doctor performed experimental surgery to remove the pinky toes and side bones on both of her feet and reconstructed them into new mandibles. She claims her name is listed in a medical journal alongside this successful, innovative surgery.

How Giving Can Heal the Giver

Patricia hated being in the nursing home and never seemed to grasp the fact that she neared the end of her life. She would beg Rich and me to help her get out, declaring that she wanted to drive again and get two Westies once she escaped. She also begged us to help her find a surgeon who could repair her hands so she could play the organ once again. We helped her get to a dentist and an eye doctor, but at ninety-three, we didn’t feel it would be advisable to encourage her to undergo major hand surgery.

We continued our weekly or more visits, did her laundry, and brought items of cheer, including a stuffed Westie for her Christmas present, which she named Precious. I also purchased a second one to surprise Rich with.

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Ever since the day Precious arrived, Patricia always kept her favored stuffed pup beside her. Once Rich and I received the proper training, we even brought Patricial already consecrated eucharist. This committed schedule continued for nearly a year, until I tore tendons within my hips and pelvis, and the extreme pain forced me to cut back.

I admit I had moments where fitting in time to care for Patricia became a challenge, but for the most part, our visits with her have richly blessed us.

A Final Blessing

On August 21, 2025, we received a call from the nursing home, telling us that Patricia had taken a turn for the worse. They said she didn’t have long. Rich and I saw Patricia just the day before, and she appeared no different than usual. We contacted our minister, who drove two and a half hours from her home to meet us at the nursing home. The three of us participated in Holy Communion, then Reverand Mo gave Patricia her Final Rites. Within minutes, Patricia, with Precious held in her arms, passed from this life on to her Lord.

Over the years, I’ve struggled many times with giving in to the urge to withdraw from others during my hardest moments. I think of Patricia. How sad it would have been if she had rejected our efforts to reach out to her and, as a result, had spent her final year alone, isolated within her own sorrow. Though small moments of withdrawal are healing, I have learned from experience that remaining too long in isolation only makes things worse. For more on this topic, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2025/03/sustainment-in-times-of-suffering/. As I reached out to Patricia, my own healing increased significantly.

I understand that when drowning in wounds of abuse or other hardships, becoming engrossed within oneself may feel as natural as gravity’s pull upon our earth. Yet, I urge you to fight against that tendency. Don’t let it drag you down. Lift yourself up by reaching out to another. You may be surprised at how even the smallest act of kindness can deliver a huge impact.

Patricia Burgess Obituary

Patricia Louise Burgess
November 3, 1931 – August 21, 2025
Daughter of Reverand William Leighton Burgess and Louise Edwards Burgess.
Sister to William E. Burgess and David W. Burgess.
Survived by many who loved her.
Rest in peace, dear friend.

Obituary | Patricia Louise Burgess of Ironwood, Michigan | HILDEBRAND – RUSS FUNERAL HOME

https://www.echovita.com/us/obituaries/mi/ironwood/patricia-burgess-20212604https://www.echovita.com/us/obituaries/mi/ironwood/patricia-burgess-20212604

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time to explore the differences between willingness and expertise.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. Find it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world, which is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. I pray that all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment and enjoyment, and that you also become inspired to move forward in your healing journey. I pray that all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment and enjoyment, and that you also become inspired to move forth in your healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

An additional site where you can find my books is https://bkbookshoppe.com. However, if you prefer to purchase from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

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***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

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Giving Heals the Giver

Patricia

How Giving Can Heal the Giver

A Final Blessing

Patricia Burgess Obituary

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Note to My Readers

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