How to Avoid this Dangerous Myth. Stop Being a Victim! Have you fallen into the trap of the common lie that you must forgive and forget? Sad to say, many have.
Heal Your Soul Layer by Layer
“As you know, most of my writing centers on healing—especially from the effects of abuse—and forgiveness. These topics remain constant within my books, blog, and even the “Crystalisms” on my Facebook group. For a soul to heal, forgiveness is crucial. When a person forgives, they find a new-found freedom. However, effective forgiveness must always contain carefully placed boundaries.
Layer One
A perpetrator’s actions always produce devastating effects, robbing their victim of so much. Let’s peal back the layers of the “forgiveness fallacy.” One layer is the belief that forgiveness is for the offender. Yet, it is just the opposite. Forgiveness is for the victim. Regardless of how much another has taken from you, if you choose the path of forgiveness, they can never take your soul.
Layer Two
A second layer contains the common fallacy of “forgive and forget.” This phrase is too often carelessly thrown about. It places victims in harm’s way. This reckless mistruth gives people the impression that they should continue life as if nothing happened. Doing this will leave you stranded in dangerous waters. Genuine forgiveness does not forgive the act. Nor does it forget what that person is capable of. On the contrary, it arms you with God’s peace while disarming the sting of bitterness and healing your soul.
Layer Three
Another common deception is the notion that forgiveness means letting a perpetrator off the hook. Alternatively, it means finding peace within the situation. This newfound peace frees you to move on to a better and more fulfilling life.
Repentance
While forgiveness is for the victim, repentance is for the transgressor. Repentance means confessing sin, asking for forgiveness, and making necessary changes to assure they never again violate another. A solitary “sorry” does not qualify as repentance. Yet, it often is used by perpetrators to fake remorse. True repentance means to change the direction of their behavior. Another way of stating this is taking responsibility for a behavior and its consequences. Without such resolve, the person who abused another continues to be dangerous. Sadly, most in need of true repentance remain unable to do so.
The Hidden Diamond
In The Hidden Diamond, I use the enchantment of fiction to illustrate how true repentance can look. I do this through Aldous, my perpetrator. In my book, he turns to God with an open heart and seeks repentance while fully confessing his shameful sins. Aldous not only asked forgiveness of God, but he also became willing to make the necessary changes to become transformed. Psalm 57:2 reminds us that God hears our cries, understands our needs, and comes to our aid when we call upon our Savior.
To see more Crystalisms go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Take the Challenge
Each of us needs forgiveness, whether victim, perpetrator or—as in the case of Aldous—both. I challenge you to inspect your heart and seek areas where you need repentance. Call upon your Savior to shower you with loving grace. God’s guidance is critical to make the necessary changes so you can sincerely repent.
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my book, The Hidden Diamond, BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley, and support my mission to break the chains of abuse.
Advancing My Healing Journey A Reinterpretation Back to the Basics Blessings Surround Us Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Christmas Complex CPTSD Don’t Get Stuck. Excerpt from The Hidden Diamond Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Glorify God Through Your Challenges. Happenings or Interpretations? Hiding From Ourselves Hope Invite Listen to the Soft Whisper. Master New Skills Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Rock Climbing Seek Understanding Shame Has No Place Summer’s Story Surrender Surrendering Take a Step Back. Take the Challenge The Choice Is Yours The Commitment to Braking Chains of Abuse The Gift of New Perspective The Hidden Diamond The Still Small Voice To My Readers Unhealed Wounds Unwittingly Harm Others. Upcoming Posts Use Caution We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. What Is Your Lesson? Why I Write You Are Worthy!
