Discover how to be more joyous this Christmas. This season of celebration is not a joyous one for everyone. In fact, it is common for abuse survivors to deal with depression this time of year. As families gather and hopes of love and peace ring through the air, unhealed wounds and loneliness magnify.
The Fantasy Flaw
I had survived my childhood and well into my twenties with blinders on. As some people say, I wore rose-colored glasses. During those closed-eye years, each holiday season resurrected fantasy images I had attempted to imitate. During my Santa-believing years, after opening gifts on Christmas morning, I always painted on a joyous mask. Then, later, when I compared my meager pile of gifts with the abundant heap of my friends, my heart sank. Once again, I had failed to be good enough to receive gifts in the amount that so many others had.
To avoid severe punishment, I was always good. I knew these friends often acted up in ways I never dared. Yet no matter how good I was, Christmas morning became an adamant reminder that no matter how hard I tried, it was never good enough—I was never good enough. That belief became a foundational beam that followed me well into adulthood. I only recently have been able to pry that warped support joist loose. As years ticked by, that dreamland wish I strove for eroded, allowing reality to take over.
Surviving Dark Years
Then, in 2012, I escaped a twenty-six-year marriage to an excessively abusive man. I found refuge over the next six months in a shelter for abused women.
As many sadly know, an abuser doesn’t stop abuse just because their victim no longer resides under the same roof. That said, my children’s father expertly brainwashed them with lies, poisoning them against me. Consequently, the loss of my children, who were my life, took from me all reason to exist. As a result, I plummeted into a deep depression. Holiday expectations heightened my depressed moments. I felt entirely abandoned. Due to their abusive nature, I had no family of origin. In addition, my children believed the atrocious lies conjured up by their father. So, they wanted nothing to do with me.
I survived those dark years by delving deep into prayer and therapy. I am happy to say that today, three of my four children have begun to open their eyes to the truth. As a result, our relationship is rebuilding on solid ground. I believe wholeheartedly that in God’s time, my fourth child will also find his way to truth and back to me.
The Power of Gratitude
During that grievous timeframe, my children married and began having babies. However, these what should be joyous moments only heightened my heartache. I couldn’t bear anything that reminded me of the family I had lost. To protect myself, I avoided Facebook and other social media.
A tool I used to keep me afloat was seeking anything to be grateful for, no matter how small. My children may no longer have been in my life, but God filled that gap with many other blessings. One of the most significant—my Savior graced me with true love. With that firm foundational beam, I now had solid footing to seek other God-gifts. I discovered that blessings always surround us, no matter how bleak a moment may seem. Learn how to spot them, then keep your focus there instead of on what pulls you down. That ability is a key to grasping joy.
Foster The Gratitude Attitude
Getting into the habit of giving thanks for those blessings is an excellent tool to combat that downward pull. Because of this, remind yourself of any minute thing you can be thankful for as you move about your days. Focus on the small things that, moment by moment, cross your path. Allow the spirit of gratitude to seep in. For example, this past month, instead of working on my next book, I have been spending that time making a quilt for my daughter. The Near-final stage of sandwiching the front and back panels with batting requires a large area. I am grateful for a wide-open floor space within our home to spread out my project.
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
The Tenth Commandment
Focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have. I believe this is one reason God gave us the tenth commandment of not coveting your neighbor. We are bound to be miserable any time we dwell on what someone else has that we don’t. Our loving Savior desires for us to happily rejoice in what has been uniquely created for our pleasure. By engaging in this very act, we honor our Lord.
The Gift of Jesus
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
No matter our situation, we all have been given the gift of a Savior through Christ’s birth. Jesus extends to each of us His grace, unconditional love, and eternal salvation. Regardless of where you are or what you are facing in your life, those extravagant gifts extended to all give a reason to be grateful.
To My Readers
Join me next week and ponder what gift you would bring to our newborn Savior’s manger. I welcome questions and comments on any of my blogs. Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can buy The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY-the-BOOK https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-. Two additional sites where you can find my books are https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.
We all know someone who needs a gentle push to approach this sensitive topic. Maybe that someone is you. The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift provide a perfect, safe avenue. I invite you to join the multitudes who have discovered the value within the covers of these books. With Christmas just around the corner, consider purchasing a copy for yourself and a second as a gift for another.
Free Giveaway
For a limited time, I am offering a free giveaway. If you have already purchased my book or do so now, post a review on Amazon and email me at [email protected], and I will send you your exclusive gift.
Advancing My Healing Journey A Reinterpretation Back to the Basics Blessings Surround Us Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Christmas Complex CPTSD Don’t Get Stuck. Excerpt from The Hidden Diamond Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Glorify God Through Your Challenges. Happenings or Interpretations? Hiding From Ourselves Hope Invite Listen to the Soft Whisper. Master New Skills Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Rock Climbing Seek Understanding Shame Has No Place Summer’s Story Surrender Surrendering Take a Step Back. Take the Challenge The Choice Is Yours The Commitment to Braking Chains of Abuse The Gift of New Perspective The Hidden Diamond The Still Small Voice To My Readers Unhealed Wounds Unwittingly Harm Others. Upcoming Posts Use Caution We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. What Is Your Lesson? Why I Write You Are Worthy!
