Do you know how to heal through acceptance? We each have areas we don’t want to accept in our lives. Yet, often, acceptance is the quickest path to healing. No one in their right mind would choose the life of a victim. This reality is why Natalie from Robin’s Gift ran from everything she knew. Natalie attempted to create a new life while obscuring her identity in the fictitious town of Wolfhead Lake, Kansas. To set her past, filled with unwanted memories, behind her, Robin even had a burning ceremony.
As I write, I place many elements from my life into my books. I also had a burning ceremony. I mistakenly believed that turning to ash everything that reminded me of my prior life would be my key to freedom. In my desire to cleanse my old self and build a new identity, I gathered everything that represented my past. I threw it all into a huge bonfire. I do not necessarily recommend this act.
The Past Holds Value.
After the fire burnt down and nothing but a pile of ashes sat before me, instead of the sense of freedom from my former self that I expected, empty sorrow seeped into my soul. As I’ve healed, I’ve discovered that no matter how much “bad” had existed within that representation of my former life, good also existed among it. By burning everything, I turned the good to ashes along with the bad.
As Natalie, in Robin’s Gift, threw items into her bonfire, her mind grasped the value connected to some of those objects. Fiction allows the freedom to make things turn out in a way that we wish something had. Natalie rescued that macramé wall-hanging Robin had made her. Sadly the actual handmade gift Cathy made me burnt to ashes. I will always regret having done that. I receive a bit of solace in knowing that I at least have a picture of it.
Keep in mind that the past is a part of who you are. You cannot find yourself by turning your back on your former you. Instead, you must embrace your past. Thank that former you for all you did to bring the present you to this current moment in time. Remember, everything you experience is a part of your unique journey. By embracing all of it, you build strength in your God-given identity.
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Boundaries
However, embracing your past does not require that you remain in relationships that harm you. Doing so is a common mistake many make. Sometimes, to heal, a person needs to step away from those they once leaned on. In some situations, this healing may even mean being willing to sever certain relationships.
Natalie in Robin’s Gift completely cut off contact with her parents. This act often is necessary for the victim to break free entirely from their abuser. I am not saying all who are escaping the life of abuse must do this, for each situation is different. However, under many circumstances, a form of severing the relationship becomes a necessary step toward freedom.
As a part of my healing journey, I, multiple times, closed the door on relationships with my parents, yet I never locked it. Each time I cut them from my life, they made it clear that my act broke their hearts, even condemning me for my choice. But, for my growth, I remained steadfast. After I achieved a level of progress in personal healthy development, I would open the door a crack and cautiously step through. I hoped that during my respite, they too would grow, yet each try left me with a heap of disappointment.
In 2014, my father passed away. He carried with him to his dying day the same pompous attitude that he had nothing to be ashamed of. My father even went so far as to claim that God reserved the seat on His right-hand side for him and him alone and he was ready to claim it.
Acceptance
But once my father had passed, freeing my mother from beneath his domineering thumb, my mother began to make minute changes. Today, I maintain a steady, albeit cautious, relationship with my mother. She reaps much joy in the fact that I am in her life. She still lives obscured by multiple masks, entirely unaware that I exercise many boundaries within our relationship. But for the two of us, this system works.
This method works for my mother and me because I have accepted who my mother is and where the safety border between her and I resides. I take great care to never fall back into that old habit of believing in the fantasy of how I wish things were. Such a false narrative carries with it the danger of my acting as if it were true. Instead, I keep my feet firmly planted in the land of acceptance.
My acceptance has allowed me to grow. In not enabling my mother by holding her to the dream world she clings to, I have also been able to act as a catalyst in her growth.
As you move forward in your healing journey, keep a close eye on which relationships nurture you and which hold you back. Don’t let anyone guilt you into remaining connected with anyone who will sabotage your healing, regardless of who that person may be. You are worthy of complete freedom from abuse. Also, by choosing the path toward freedom, you show others the way, including those you love whom you may need to step away from, at least for a while.
Note To My Readers
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can buy The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY-the-BOOK https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-. Two additional sites where you can find my books are https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.
Advancing My Healing Journey A Reinterpretation Back to the Basics Blessings Surround Us Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Christmas Complex CPTSD Don’t Get Stuck. Excerpt from The Hidden Diamond Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Glorify God Through Your Challenges. Happenings or Interpretations? Hiding From Ourselves Hope Invite Listen to the Soft Whisper. Master New Skills Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Rock Climbing Seek Understanding Shame Has No Place Summer’s Story Surrender Surrendering Take a Step Back. Take the Challenge The Choice Is Yours The Commitment to Braking Chains of Abuse The Gift of New Perspective The Hidden Diamond The Still Small Voice To My Readers Unhealed Wounds Unwittingly Harm Others. Upcoming Posts Use Caution We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. What Is Your Lesson? Why I Write You Are Worthy!
