Where is justice? Sadly, it often seems that we live in a world without justice. The way society handles abuse cases brought to our legal system, far too often, ends up protecting the perpetrator over the victim. In our legal system, the burden of proof rests on the accuser, and forms of abuse outside of physical abuse are often hard to prove. This obstacle places verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse in an extra dangerous category, making it even more challenging to get help.
My ex was an expert at psychological abuse, otherwise known as gaslighting. For more on how gaslighting is abuse, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2026/04/is-someone-gaslighting-you/ and https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2026/04/what-are-typical-gaslighting-behaviors/. Such behavior can be so subtle that it’s often difficult to pinpoint. Psychological abuse creeps up on a person and accumulates over time. This form of abuse doesn’t only occur in domestic settings. It can come from anyone in your life, as my husband and I recently experienced.
Psychological abuse can look like:
- Stalking
- Cornering a person
- Making statements that diminish your worth as a human being
- Intimidation
- Using expressions, comments, and body language to make you feel afraid
- Threats
- Destruction of property
- Brandishing or making comments about easy access to weapons
- Unpredictable outbursts of anger
- Threatening to harm you, your loved ones, or pets
- Using others to intimidate you
- Monitoring your movements
- Gaslighting
- Deceitful actions against you
Where is Justice?
Lately, I’ve been battling with a lot of anger. My husband and I, among others, have been victims of psychological abuse from one individual. For clarification, I will refer to him by the fictitious name Brian. The extent of Brian’s abuse has spun out of control, causing extensive psychological harm to us all. As a result, we decided to act as a group.
We first attempted reasoning with this person, but as with the case of any true abuser, they cannot be reasoned with. A therapist Rich and I know stated it this way: “Everything Brian has been doing shows that he is not in his right mind, so why expect him to act any differently? Why would he suddenly become someone you can trust to work with?”
Despite everything I’ve been through, a part of me desperately wants to believe in the goodness of humankind. This trait of mine often makes me extra vulnerable to deceitful and abusive actions of others. I’m finding it difficult to stop wishing that people will ultimately be honorable. After things escalated, proving beyond a doubt that Brian cannot be trusted and is, in fact, dangerous, people in our party felt the need to contact the police.
We presented our evidence, certain this individual would be convicted, only to be told that we didn’t have enough proof to present our case. The officer said it would never hold up in court. His words floored me. How could he say that? We had evidence of a crime and proof Brian did it! When confronted, Brian even admitted it. Apparently, our small community’s limited resources made it necessary to modify the laws so that our small, local court system can handle them. This change makes what were once seen as convictable actions no longer prosecutable. What other places would see as crimes are now being labeled frivolous.
Coming to Terms
I get that limited resources can cause limitations. Another factor to consider is the need for caution to protect innocent people from false accusations and convictions. I know firsthand how an abusive person will turn truths around and accuse the innocent of crimes they did not commit. My ex did that. As a result, he turned my children and many residents against me for over a decade until they saw the truth with their own eyes. Yet, despite my understanding, I’m angry at the frequency with which the justice system protects the perpetrator over the victim.
1 Peter 2:17 (AMP) instructs us to “Show respect for all people [treat them honorably].” This scripture reminds us to treat others with respect, but that’s not all. It also says that you, too, deserve to be treated with respect. When we protect our self-dignity, we are protecting the dignity of all.
To see more Crystalisms, visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Abuse is widespread and can occur in any situation. Too many people live their lives abusing not just those within their home, but also others they have frequent contact with. When a bully, like Brian, enters your life, what can you do to protect yourself?
Effects of Old Wounds
As the Brian incident went down, I thought I was handling things well. I mistakenly felt that our friends had received the brunt of Brian’s abuse, so my focus remained on protecting them. Without realizing it, during all the surrounding events, I fell back into my old habit of burying my feelings and minimizing their effects on me. I had learned this dysfunctional way from my parents. They taught me from early childhood on to always put other people’s needs and feelings above my own. Subconsciously, I did just that once again.
Interesting fact: stuffed emotions don’t remain buried. They always find a way to surface. For more on this, see https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2023/10/speak-your-truth-part-1-how-to-claim-your-value/. In my case, my buried emotions came out as a quick temper.
I felt a need to defend my boundaries, but I did so in unhealthy ways. It wasn’t until I recognized my old wounds and realized Brian’s actions had caused them to resurface that I began to regain control of my emotions. Like the surgical scar on my stomach, scars from past wounds never go away. They remain a constant reminder of how important it is to nurture, care for, and protect yourself. When a person healthily acts on that reminder, growth occurs. But when ignored, it can wreak havoc on a person’s life.
Claiming Our Power
Everything can be used as an opportunity for growth. Even if the law cannot provide protection and aid, as I wish it could, that doesn’t mean we can’t establish safe actions. PPOs have been placed on Brian so he can no longer be anywhere near us. We all now have a better understanding of what traits to look for in a safe versus an abusive person. Because we spoke out against Brian’s behavior, new precedents have been set to protect everyone involved.
With education comes power. The purpose of my blogs is to provide information to help you spot abuse, seek needed help, and learn how to protect yourself from unsafe people. To further support this mission, I also keep a resources/help link on my webpage at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.
Upcoming Posts
Next time, I invite you to join me to explore how much of a difference one person can make.
Note to My Readers
To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.
Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows me to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world, which is why I’ve chosen to write books in this genre. May all of you who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to help you move forth in your healing journey.
I hope you have found value in this blog post. If so, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.
Acceptance Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Continue to write for God. Disclosure Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Invite Keep up the good work. My Escape Story My Mission My Story Note To My Readers Ren Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Share Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”
- Where is Justice?
- What Is Grooming?
- How Do You Forgive and Remain Safe?
- How to Take Control of Your Life
- Is Fear Stopping You?
Acceptance Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Continue to write for God. Disclosure Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Invite Keep up the good work. My Escape Story My Mission My Story Note To My Readers Ren Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Share Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”
