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The Truth Set Me Free.

The Truth Set Me Free.

The truth set me free. I spent much of my life shrouded in lies; lies my parents had told me and lies I carried on into early adulthood. Holding onto those fabrications that had been fed to me since birth provided me with a level of comfort earlier in my life, for they carried a sense of familiarity with them. But they also kept me from finding the freedom I needed to develop into my true self.

If I had chosen to carry forth those lies, I would have been assured to also pass on to future generations similar abuse that was inflicted on me.

A Childhood of Lies

In the past, keeping my eyes closed to the truth became a survival tool. As a child, I’d watch my sister rear up and boldly defy our mother’s carefully constructed denial-based fantasy. My mother’s rage response toward my sister encouraged me to keep quiet and not challenge things. Accepting Mother’s distorted reality became a way of surviving the moment. Yet, even then, a part of me never fully believed the lies our parents beat into us.

I remember the first time the mask of lies slid aside, revealing a bit of truth hidden behind it. I was in college, halfway across the country from where my parents lived. Other students’ families frequently visited them on campus, but never mine. Mother and Father always claimed such a trip was too costly. These other students also received care packages, money, and gifts from their parents. In contrast, I received cassette tapes of sermons from my father, a prominent minister at the church where I was raised.

Each time the pain of abandonment surfaced, I’d stuff it back down. After all, from as young as the age of twelve, my father repeatedly declared his graciousness in allowing me to stay in his home. He highlighted his point by emphasizing that I was just a guest. He then stressed that as soon as I turned eighteen, I must leave and was never allowed to move back in with them. My parents reinforced their declaration on my eighteenth birthday with the gift of suitcases and a one-way airplane ticket. It’s no wonder that most of my life I’ve felt alone and abandoned.

Generational Lies

My first step in shedding these lies and facing the truth began at college when I received that box of sermon cassette tapes from my father. Still brainwashed into believing that the man who had raised me was exceptionally godly, I excitedly played a tape for two of my then-closest friends. They looked at me in shock and held nothing back as they shared their very negative opinion on what they heard.

From the beginning of my second year of college, while still brainwashed with the falsehoods my parents had fed me, I followed their example and got with the type of man they had programmed me to be with. Marrying this man added more links to the already heavy chain of abuse that shackled me. During our first decade together, I kept my head buried, protecting me from the truth I existed in, even though some people tried to enlighten me from the start. Regardless of whether I attempted to conceal the truth, my subconscious self would not comply. I’m grateful that around my fourteenth year with this man, my subconscious self won out, and I began rejecting all the falsehoods he tried to lay on me.

Why Do People Stay with Lies?

I watch people, including some of my loved ones, live their lives with their heads buried in the sand, remaining blind to obvious truths. At times, I’ve wondered why they insist on keeping their eyes shut to reality.

Past experiences have taught me that an element of comfort exists within fabricated lies woven around a person’s life. What is familiar becomes comfortable, even when that familiarity causes harm. To break free from such familiarity is hard work. It requires strength, courage, and persistence to go against the grain. Not everyone wants to put in the effort. Holding firm to lies is the least resistant path. Instead of forging a new, healthier way, they’d rather turn their backs on reality and continue down the well-trodden path cleared by others.

The Truth Set Me Free.

“And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.” — John 8:32 (AMPC).

Many times, I’ve found this scripture valid. The most earthshaking results led to my breaking the chains of abuse, setting not only myself free, but also forging a path of freedom for my children and grandchildren. While on this journey, I’ve also found liberation in other areas.

For example, all my life, those around me and I have known that something has been physically wrong with me. As a child, I was weak and sickly and prone to injury. Whenever I’d run and jump, I’d do so with caution because my joints felt unstable. It took nearly five decades for the medical field to diagnose me with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). During those years, I fought with doctors who wouldn’t believe me when I described my symptoms. My children’s father insisted I was making things up, forbidding me to get traditional medical help. He claimed that a diagnosis would become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But with the truth comes freedom. Now that my medical team and I know what I suffer from, they can provide me with the proper care and medications to help. This diagnosis gives me a clearer understanding of my condition, so I can better manage my health and live a higher quality of life. I once heard the phrase, “It’s not a diagnosis, it’s a homecoming.” Knowing with certainty what I am dealing with allows me to understand myself better, which in turn brings me “home.”

More Truth Discovered

Early on in my childhood, it became evident that I suffered from dyslexia. But recently, I discovered that I also deal with Autism. Early Childhood Special Education was my major in college. I recall writing a lengthy essay on autism, and in my research, I noted how I related to many of its characteristics. The way I easily hit overload, crave the quiet, and calm myself with repeated physical movements was only some of those autistic traits I recognized within myself.

Autism has a strong genetic component of 80% to 90%. After finding out that one of my sons and some of my grandchildren have been diagnosed with autism, I began to consider more seriously the possibility that they had inherited it from me.

I watch how others share aspects of their lives on Facebook with ease, my daughter included. I may write complete books and keep an active blog, but simple day-to-day posts about my life are a challenge for me. Now that I’ve discovered my autism, it all makes sense. As I’m learning more about this condition, I’m finding relief. It helps me better understand and accept myself. With this understanding comes a newfound freedom.

Higher Rates of Abuse

Sadly, people on the autistic spectrum are more prone to being abused; see https://worldmetrics.org/autism-abuse-statistics/. Much of what appears to be autistic traits could have resulted from the forty-six years of extensive abuse I endured. At my age, I will probably never fully distinguish between my autistic traits and those characteristics that resulted from the abuse. But knowing that I deal with both helps me to be kinder and more compassionate toward myself.

I also must consider the fact that the abuse I endured may have exacerbated many of my EDS symptoms. One traumatic situation feeds another. Interestingly, I’ve discovered that EDS and autism often coexist within the same individual.

The Truth Set Me Free.
The Truth Set Me Free.

To see more Crystalisms, visit  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

As we celebrate the United States of America’s 250th anniversary, we are reminded that freedom is not free. Just as our nation had to fight for freedom, we as individuals must do the same. Nothing of value comes without a cost, and often what we value the most carries the heaviest price tags.

For more information on the value of truth, I invite you to a two-part series: https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2023/10/speak-your-truth-part-1-how-to-claim-your-value/ and https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2023/10/speak-your-truth-part-2-how-to-claim-your-value/.

Upcoming Posts

I invite you to join me next time as I explore specific traits of a narcissistic person.

Note to My Readers

To further support your healing journey, I’ve added a direct access hotline/resource page to my website. You can view it at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/resources/.

Writing is my passion. It is also an excellent healing tool. The beauty of fiction is that it allows you to create outcomes that don’t exist in the everyday world. This is why I have chosen to write my book in this genre. May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and inspiration to move forth in their healing journey.

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If so, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

Robin’s Gift – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?
The Hidden Diamond – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Complex CPTSD Continue to write for God. Disclosure Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Grace Enters Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Invite Keep up the good work. Master New Skills My Mission My Story Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Effects Gaslighting Had on Me The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Share Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”

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