Do you know how to see someone differently? Finding a different perspective can become challenging when heavy emotions mingle with another’s actions.
Have you ever had a day like this? A necessary trip to the grocery store calls to you, so you grab your keys and head out. While pulling into the parking lot, you notice an empty parking space up ahead. As you angle your vehicle to drive in, out of nowhere, someone zips into the spot you claimed. You take a deep breath and mutter a few choice words to vent your frustration. Then you grab a cart and head into the grocery store.
After gathering all your food items while standing in the check-out line, another shopper cuts in front of you. To hold back an unpleasant response, you bite your lip while feeling the heat rise within your face. Finally, that rude person who cut in front of you completed paying for his order, freeing up the convey belt for your produce.
Determined not to carry on the negative energy that this day dumped into your lap, you greet the cashier with a cheery hello as you empty your cart. However, without looking up at you, she returns your pleasant acknowledgment by grumbling something inaudible under her breath. Exasperated, you release a sigh, push your cart into the parking lot, and load your grocery bags into your car.
Could this day get any worse? Your question is mercilessly answered on your drive home when you approach a car going ten miles below the speed limit. You’ve had enough! Rung dry of patience, you blare your horn.
Happenings or Interpretations?
We have all experienced days like this. Such experiences too often hold the power to steal your joy, and frequently they succeed. However, these misfortunate moments do not take away your ability to remain happy. On the contrary, how we interpret each happening claims authority over whether we stay happy or slip down that slippery path toward the land of misery. To explain, let’s repaint the beginning scenario.
A Reinterpretation
You spot an empty parking space up ahead. Just before pulling in, a middle-aged woman zips in front of you, taking that spot. She is on her way to the hospital after hearing that her daughter has gone into early labor. This anxious mother battles diabetes. As a result, before joining her daughter at the hospital, this soon-to-be grandmother must first stop at a store and pick up a high-energy snack to help her blood sugar level remain stable.
While standing in line at the grocery store, another shopper cuts in front of you. The national weather station has sent out a broadcast reporting that tornados touched down three states south of them, where this person’s elderly parents live. After multiple phone calls to check on their well-being, none of his attempts provided an answer. He can only assume the phone towers are out. The possible plight of his parents’ well-being dominates his thoughts, making him oblivious to the person in line whom he cut in front of.
You greet the check-out clerk with a smile and a cheery hello, yet they return your greeting, grumbling something inaudible under their breath. After twenty devoted years of marriage to the love of his life, he discovered his wife had been cheating on him. Depression had settled in since their divorce, making it a challenge to even get out of bed in the mornings. His obligation to this job as a grocery clerk is the only reason he showers and dresses daily.
On your drive home, you approach a car, lagging ten miles below the speed limit. The lady behind the wheel stares at the empty road ahead of her as she swipes away tears after having just heard that her mother had passed away.
Seek Understanding
Proverbs 14:10 says “Each heart knows its own bitterness & no one else can share its joy.”
We have no idea what another person is going through. We do not know what exists in the lives of those whose actions have the potential of chiseling away at our joy. Yet, too often, we quickly jump to the simplified conclusion by labeling this other person as a rude, unfriendly grouch. It is much easier to throw out quick judgments than to seek understanding, even though the price we pay is immense.
This same jumping to conclusions far too often exists when judging someone who has been abused. I think of my mother. Many who look solely at her actions would justly call her an abuser, but I have had the privilege to gain a deeper, inside view of my mother’s life and what she endured.
My mother had an over-dominating father, was molested as a child, and then lived over fifty years as an abused wife. She existed in a timeframe where society kept such things locked behind closed doors. A negative stigma followed those who sought therapeutic help. That negative stigma grew even more intense for those who, like my mother are a daughter and wife of prominent ministers.
It is far too easy to place everyone in the same box and declare that everyone is given the same opportunities, but that serendipitous idea is nowhere near reality.
These reasons I gave on my mother’s behalf may help explain her actions, but don’t get me wrong, they do not excuse them. However, a better understanding of why a person does what they do opens a doorway to forgiveness.
“Men judge by outward appearance, but I look at a man’s thoughts and intentions.” (16:7 TLB)
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Take a Step Back.
Do you need to step back and evaluate those times you have quickly judged another? I challenge you to be courageous and strengthen your willingness to see them in a different light.
Note To My Readers
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can buy The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY-the-BOOK https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-. Two additional sites where you can find my books are https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.
Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Complex CPTSD Continue to write for God. Difficult people can become a catalyst for growth. Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Grace Enters Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Installing Healthy Boundaries Invite Keep up the good work. Master New Skills My Mission My Story No meaningful journey exists without pitfalls. Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”
