Do You Know What Abuse Is?

Do you know what abuse is? I wrote today’s blog to help you recognize abusive behavior. Your ability to identify abusive actions is crucial to avoid getting into such a relationship. https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2025/05/how-to-learn-not-to-be-a-victim/.

Anytime someone enforces their will on another, that is abuse. When I say this, I am not talking about functional parenting, where the parent lovingly compels their children to follow the rules of their home. I am speaking about when one person enforces actions upon another, causing that person to go against what they feel is right. Abusers engage in this type of act in multiple ways, including the following.

Brainwashing – To forcibly influence someone to give up their own beliefs and standards and take on ideas that contrast with their own.
Intimidation – to frighten, browbeat, or bully someone
Gaslighting – to psychologically manipulate or mislead someone for your benefit, causing the victim to question their perceptions and thoughts of reality.

Do You Know What Abuse Is?

Here are some signs that indicate you may be in an abusive relationship.

Your partner continuously shifts all the blame onto you.
Frequently, shaming and belittling you is often done by someone who abuses you.
They indicate that you are the cause of whatever terrible thing has happened to you by your actions.
Your partner refuses to acknowledge how past trauma can affect a person for the rest of their life. They minimize your pain by telling you, “It’s not that bad. Just get over it.”
An abuser will rush a victim through the healing process, giving them a time limit to “overcome what trauma they went through.”
Instead of offering compassion, they compare your situation with someone else’s, pointing out how “blessed you are because at least you didn’t experience …”
They give excuses for their actions and the actions of others.
When your partner hurts you, if they acknowledge their actions, they make false promises like, “It will never happen again.”
They threaten to abandon you if you don’t comply with their wishes.
An abuser may threaten to harm themselves if you leave them.
They tell you that no one would ever love you like they do, and no one else would ever put up with you.
They insist that what they are doing is for your own good.

Here is the link to an article that gives further information on this area: https://www.enotalone.com/article/abuse-violence/.

Knowing What Abuse Is Gives You Power.

Unfortunately, victims often fall into the trap of believing that what they have is the best they will ever get. Such a trap holds them in abuse. After approximately fifteen years into my relationship with an abusive man, I fell deep into this lie’s trap. (I do not like calling my connection with this man a marriage, nor him a husband. Those terms, I feel, should be reserved for relationships based on love, not abuse.)

I remember one day, in particular, stopping at a red light. As I waited for the light to turn green, I pondered all the fantasy love stories my memory had collected since childhood. My innocent mind had believed that life emulates those made-up portrayals.

I gazed out my Jeep’s driver’s side window, and a deep sadness drenched my heart. Right then and there, I concluded that my relationship with my children’s father was “as good as it gets.” At that very moment, I gave up on true love, declaring it as nothing more than a fantasy.

To settle into this new conclusion, I accepted the lie that I had made my choice the day I had committed vows with this man. It was up to me to make the best of what I had. Even though he and I were legally connected, love between us would never exist. He lived a very different life from mine, though we dwelt under the same roof.

Back then, I lacked the inner strength to consider a life independent from this man. It took another decade for me to find the fortitude to fight against his abuse and seek freedom. After many more years of healing, I discovered that true love does exist, and because of the work I poured into my healing, I now experience that blessing.

Knowing What Abuse Is Gives Freedom.

Because of my healing, I now believe in the teaching given through Psalm 30:5. “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Fight for your morning! God intended us all to experience a joyful life filled with blessings. God created true love. And our Loving Savior wishes such joy for all His children. These Divine blessings are within reach for each one of us. But here is the challenge. To receive Our Savior’s blessings, we must first recognize and give up the lies that block our way.

Lies bind us up, including those falsehoods that abusers tell. They entrap us, making us unable to reach out and grasp the blessings God meant for us to have. A beginning step into freedom is learning how to recognize lies.

To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

People do not need to be in a personal relationship with an abuser to be entraped within their control. Listening to the lies told by any formidable person within society can be just as damaging. Since society’s beginning, people of power have led others astray, imprisoning their followers with nothing more than dogmatic words.

To avoid such a trap, learn and nurture critical thinking. Question what you hear and always think for yourself. When something doesn’t “feel” right, a reason almost always exists. Do not settle. Search out that reason, then, with all the facts before you, make your educated choice, not one coerced by another.

Do you know what abuse is? If you don’t, then chances are you have fallen victim to its binding chains. Learning the signs of abuse is the first step to breaking free.

Update

In my March 26, 2025, post, “Can Abuse Jeopardize Physical Health?” found at https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2025/03/can-abuse-jeopardize-physical-health/, I informed you of an upcoming summit on Trauma and Health, hosted by Karen Robinson, my dear friend and colleague. You can attend this highly informative summit here at https://finding-revitalization-after-the-physical-effects.heysummit.com/, on May 30, 2025, from 10 am to 5 pm EDT. I highly recommend this summit for those serious about taking the journey toward healing.

I invite you to join me next time as we explore whether it is shameful to receive help.

Note to My Readers

I would love to learn more about you as a reader of my posts and how my writing has impacted your life. I invite you to leave a comment at the end of this page or drop me a note at [email protected].

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

An additional site where you can find my books is https://bkbookshoppe.com. However, if you prefer to purchase from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site where you have purchased it. Your review will encourage others to also seek out the path of healing.

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

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Do You Know What Abuse Is?

Knowing What Abuse Is Gives You Power.

Knowing What Abuse Is Gives Freedom.

Update

Note to My Readers

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