Make Known the Unique Value of the Learning Process. Going through each step of the learning process can be a daunting task. Too often, as we begin at step one, we are tempted to skip over many of the following steps and speedily head directly to the finish line. I have battled this challenge all my life.
Recently, I had the opportunity to experience this learning process. A loved one asked me to make them a quilt, picking out a specific pattern that required many squares made from the flying geese pattern. Even though I have made multiple quilts over the years, I haven’t used this particular pattern in a long time. I forgot how to do it.
I looked through my books and researched online for a refresher course. Then, using scrap fabric, I practiced. Frustration settled in as it took many tries to create uniform-sized flying geese pieces. Regardless of my impatience, I forced myself to slow down and make as many samples as necessary, thoroughly stepping through the learning process. Completing this procedure toward excellence is the only way to ensure quality in my work.
For me, slowing down and taking time to allow myself the experience of completing the learning process becomes far more than uncomfortable. With each step I take, PTSD symptoms seep into my bloodstream, carrying an unwanted flow of fight-or-flight adrenaline. Even as I write this paragraph, my chest pounds with the surge of panic as it shoots through my body.
My Learning Process Story
In my situation, making mistakes is far more than uncomfortable. As early as preschool age, my parents programmed in me a forbidden allowance for making errors of any type. In their warped, cult-like teachings, making a mistake is akin to doing utmost evil. They declared that even the most minute error would prove Satan’s evil grip on me. To read more about my religious upbringing go to my February 7, 2024, post https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2024/02/religious-abuse-can-you-see-the-signs/.
Father, as the leader of our home-based cult, taught that God installed in him and him alone the task of deciding who would go to Heaven and who would spend an eternity burning in Hell. Drunken with this deceitful power, Father condemned nearly every person we came across. He labeled countless actions as “works of the Devil,” including the minuscule blunders that come as a part of the learning process. If you or someone you know needs help to get out of abuse go to my February 28, 2024 post https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2024/02/do-you-know-the-six-important-steps-to-escape-abuse/.
God Given Talents
My Lord and Savior blessed me with multiple artistic talents. I fluently played the piano. Once I became a teenager and we moved out of isolation, I frequently participated in concerts put on at our local community college. I also played the accompaniment during church services on the piano and the organ. And, I sang as the soloist for my high school and multiple events, including church services, weddings, and funerals. I even sang in a National Messiah Choir in which participants had to audition.
At age seven, I started drawing and oil painting, winning awards for my artwork. During my high school years, I became one of the few allotted a private space at an art studio a professional, out-of-town artist headed up. My painting sat among the work of other artists in gallery shows. People admiring my paintings offered a hefty price for one of my masterpieces. The head artist unsuccessfully encouraged my parents to grant me the freedom to spend more time painting. He said my artwork would earn me a college scholarship.
Even though I thrived at many of these artistic talents, I struggled to find joy in any of them. They all became stressful tasks because of how successfully my parents choked all enjoyment out of my artistic flow. Mother and Father forced me to restrain my music and artwork, demanding I keep everything within rigid specifications of what they deemed godly. Anything outside of those boundaries, Father declared as evil. And within these stifling limitations, everything I did had to be perfect.
Failure—Part of the Learning Process—Brings Growth
They did not grant me the grace to make mistakes. In addition, they did not allow me the joy of experiencing the natural learning process our Blessed Lord set up for us, His children. Failure is not something to be ashamed of. On the contrary, it is an essential part of the learning process. If we never fail, we cannot grow.
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Today, intricate sketches and oil paintings I created from age seven and into my early twenties cover the walls of my home. I stopped my artwork because the process of creating stressed me out far too much.
About a decade ago, I took up quilting. I love it! Since I learned this skill far from my childhood, and am now a grandmother, my parents do not influence this artistic outlet. As I design patterns with my sewing machine and cloth, I experience the freedom of allowing my creative energy to flow. However, unbroken chain links from my past still threaten to impede me
As I begin every quilted masterpiece, I fight through a season of panic, remnants of my parents’ brainwashing. However, I refuse to allow them to continue to rule my existence. They packed my brain with a heap of lies. Our Lord is a God of Love. Our Savior, out of ever-abiding love, gave us the learning process as a gift to help us grow, attain knowledge, and mature. With heartful gratitude, I embrace that Heavenly love, even when it means fighting through the brambles of deceit my parents raised me in.
Allow Grace
Always striving to get things right the first time is an impossibility. Following such a limitation does not make a person appear perfect. It highlights arrogance. If a lie like this has filtered into your mind, humbly release it. Allow yourself the grace of learning in the way God meant you to.
Note To My Readers
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can buy The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY-the-BOOK https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-. Two additional sites where you can find my books are https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.
Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Complex CPTSD Continue to write for God. Difficult people can become a catalyst for growth. Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Grace Enters Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Installing Healthy Boundaries Invite Keep up the good work. Master New Skills My Mission My Story No meaningful journey exists without pitfalls. Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”
