Have you heard of the powerful tool of isolation? You may never have thought of isolation quite this way, as a tool, especially not a powerful one. Yet, shutting an abuser’s victim off from friends and family is often the primary tool they use. This method gives the abuser power over their victim’s world. It keeps them thinking that the life they know is the norm. Or, at the very least, it shatters any hopes of a way out. This potent tool is the root base of all other controlling actions.
Two Forms of Isolation
- Physical Isolation
- As a child until age twelve, my family and I lived in remote areas where our church did not have an established congregation. Our kitchen table became my Sunday school each Sunday as Mother taught me religious lessons. Also, a white tablecloth draped over an end table beside Father’s favorite chair transformed our living room into our sanctuary. This continuous separation blocked any chance of oversight from our church’s headquarters. Such seclusion provided the perfect environment for Father to warp his preached sermons.
- This detachment from our main church produced a perfect toxic environment. It allowed Father the leniency to elevate himself as “God’s right-hand man.” A congregation downstate occasionally invited my father as a guest speaker. Those times and our gleeful moments at summer camp became the only opportunities my sister and I had to experience how our church operated. Even then, Father’s brainwashing of his superiority created a thick shield over our young minds, locking out anything that might hint otherwise.
- Mental Isolation
- My father also built a solid foundation for mental isolation within my sister and me. Our parents planted the phrase “You’re so blessed to have been born in such a Godly home” so deeply into our minds that those twisted words reverberated within our heads even when not spoken. This repeated statement filtered into our dreams at night. Its continuous echo left no room within our young minds to consider that a different reality existed.
- Added to that, Father installed in us an immense fear of God and the All Mighty’s ability to condemn us to eternal damnation. Our parents taught us never to question anything. Even the thought of a question meant the devil had a tight grip on us.
Isolation’s Effects on Me
My parents had established within me a firm foundation of mental isolation long before I married my children’s father. Their action built a cornerstone within me, eliminating any chance of choosing a well-balanced spouse and entering into a healthy relationship.
Since what my parents had taught me was the only reality I knew, I naturally stumbled onto the next logical step. I got into a committed relationship with someone as abusive as the parents who raised me. Due to the extreme isolation that my parents raised me in, I had no way of knowing another approach toward life existed.
The illustration Ib set into words in the paragraphs before this one is why a victim cannot merely escape their abuser and expect to be set free. Complete liberation requires exposure to adequate resources. As I stated in last week’s blog, a shelter will provide such a resource, https://crystalmmhuntley.com/do-you-know-how-suffering-can-become-a-valuable-gift/.
Shades of Gray
A challenging lesson I had to learn in my healing journey is that nothing in this world is entirely black and white. I taught my children a root belief based on James 1:17
“Every good gift comes to us from God. Our loving Savior only does what will help us. He is our Father in heaven. He made everything in the sky that gives us light. Those things do not give us the same light all the time. They change, but God does not change.”
From this scripture, I drew three absolutes that I believe wholeheartedly.
1) God is Love.
2) Because of God’s nature of pure love, anything from The Holy One must reflect this love.
3) Anything that does not resonate with love is not from God.
The same truth holds when it comes to isolation. It is also not entirely black and white. Isolation forced upon a person is a tool for abuse. And yet, temporary isolation a person chooses can become a valuable asset, but only if done in a proper balance.
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Isolation’s Gift
As Franz Kafka stated, “Isolation is a way to know ourselves.” To attain such an essential form of isolation, you must maintain a healthy distance between yourself and the constant noise and chaos this world produces.
A healthy person keeps everything in proper balance. Life continuously pulls us out of balance, just like the abuse within my past pulled me far from equilibrium. To regain my footing, once I went from victim to survivor to a thriver, I began feeling an overwhelming drive to find a greater purpose within all I had suffered through. Without such a mission, what would motivate me to continue moving forward?
Finding Purpose
I found my purpose within my writing. In time, what I write evolved into a mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom, and while doing so, draw closer to their Maker.
Regardless of the trial you face in life, if you wish to be set free from its painful effects, you, too, must find meaning. Without meaning to your suffering, where is the purpose?
For those of you who are trapped in abuse, even if someone takes control of your life, that doesn’t mean you need to give them the key to control your mind.
I am not only a survivor today but an overcomer and thriver because, at a very young age, I decided to take personal power over my life. Every one of us can make that choice. You, too, can commit to that decision. But to do so, you must break out of isolation and seek quality help. I pray that the writings I put into our world through my weekly blog posts and my books will benefit you as resources to break free.
If you or someone you care about are looking for ways to cope with the devastating effects of abuse, please share this with them.
Note To My Readers
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can buy The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY-the-BOOK https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-. Two additional sites where you can find my books are https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.
Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Complex CPTSD Continue to write for God. Difficult people can become a catalyst for growth. Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Grace Enters Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Installing Healthy Boundaries Invite Keep up the good work. Master New Skills My Mission My Story No meaningful journey exists without pitfalls. Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”
