Speak your truth (part 2) – how to claim your value. Make your voice heard and, like a phoenix, rise above the ashes. Last week’s post covered healing stages one and two. https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/speak-your-truth-part-1-how-to-claim-your-value/(opens in a new tab). This week I will reveal part two of this three-part series as we go over stages three and four.
Stage Three—Survivor
It took a lot for me to open my eyes and accept that I was a victim of abuse (stage two). I wanted to believe the dream drilled into me since birth—that I was blessed beyond most by being born into a loving, godly family. Once reality struck and the dreadful truth soaked in, the title of Victim became my identity. Consequently, I lived with that title long enough. I saw it as prominent to who I was.
Then, one day, my therapist at that time corrected me. She said I had advanced in my healing because I was a survivor, not a victim. That concept struck me with confusion. How could I be a survivor? Everything I had endured crippled me. I was broken, with my entire life shattered due to the abuse others inflicted upon me.
Kintsugi
Though life may break us, God is the Master at taking broken pieces and putting them back together again. This newly restored form is always far more beautiful than the original. Kintsugi, a Japanese art, takes broken pottery, places it together, and strengthens each crack with an outline of gold. The ending result is a newly restored vessel far more exquisite than the initial.
God, the Master Artist, restores our fractured souls by molding them into priceless treasures. Our Loving Savior gently takes our shattered pieces, cleanses and polishes them. Then, with our Lord’s golden thread of love, He perfectly positions and secures each piece. But first, one must be a survivor. A necessary requirement for God to transform them into this new, beautiful version of their prior self. And the gold thread that holds each precious piece together forms a bond stronger than before.
I remained in the stage of Survivor for multiple years. Within that timeframe, I engaged in heavy therapy, pealing apart the many layers abuse had wrapped around me. Committed to unburying my Hidden Diamond, I refused to allow abuse to turn me into an abuser. My parents’ harm taught me what not to do. As a result, determination drove me to break chains and be a good parent. I searched every avenue to discover what to do. My commitment to ending that generational curse grew with passion. I put every bit of strength and energy into breaking links and not passing this affliction on to my children.
Stage Four—Thriver
I found no satisfaction in being a survivor. For this reason, I wanted more. For too many long years, I had delved into the sludge beneath each onion layer, only to discover more layers to peel away. It became an endless chore tethering me to that title—Survivor. I needed a purpose beyond having made it through the nightmare with my sanity intact.
More blinders fell off, unearthing additional tragic realities. Even as I broke links to the abuse chain, my children’s father perpetually created more at a much faster rate. In fact, I had no power or authority over his actions. I could not protect my children no matter how hard I tried.
The harsh reality struck—I cannot free my children from abuse. Thus, all I could do was provide an example through my actions of how to become free. This truth caused my heart to sink. Being a survivor on my own was not enough. I had to find a greater purpose to motivate myself to not crumble within stage three and get lost. I had to thrive.
Forgiveness
The key to thriving, stage four, is forgiveness. For more on forgiveness, see https://www.crystalmmhuntley.com/how-to-avoid-this-dangerous-myth-stop-being-a-victim/. The burdens of life are too heavy for any human to bear. For this reason, one must trust in the Lord to carry the load for them. Hence, giving all anger, resentment, fear, and regret over to your Savior is the only way to be set free. Only God’s love can rebuild a person’s broken trust and wash clean the stench of abuse.
Leap of Faith
I laid complete trust in my Lord the day I left my abuser, seeking help within a shelter. At that time, I depended on a wheelchair. That and other aspects of my disability had rendered me unable to survive without assistance. This predicament caused me to take an extra leap of faith to move toward freedom.
God rewarded my faith leap well. I fled to the shelter nearly twelve years ago. Subsequently, today, I live in an entirely different part of the country, safe and secure. God formatted within me a newfound sense of worth and confidence. As a result, I now know how it feels and what it means to be truly loved. All I survived has given me wisdom I never would have known otherwise.
Childhood abuse results from imperfect parents. It strips us of love and self-esteem. But God is the perfect parent, the true essence of love. As our heavenly parent, God wants joy for us. Our loving Lord also wants us free to live an abundant life as we develop into God’s incredible masterpieces.
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Join me next week as we continue this topic and reveal the final stage of healing.
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my book, The Hidden Diamond, BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley, and support my mission to break the chains of abuse.
Advancing My Healing Journey A Reinterpretation Back to the Basics Blessings Surround Us Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Christmas Complex CPTSD Don’t Get Stuck. Excerpt from The Hidden Diamond Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Glorify God Through Your Challenges. Happenings or Interpretations? Hiding From Ourselves Hope Invite Listen to the Soft Whisper. Master New Skills Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Rock Climbing Seek Understanding Shame Has No Place Summer’s Story Surrender Surrendering Take a Step Back. Take the Challenge The Choice Is Yours The Commitment to Braking Chains of Abuse The Gift of New Perspective The Hidden Diamond The Still Small Voice To My Readers Unhealed Wounds Unwittingly Harm Others. Upcoming Posts Use Caution We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. What Is Your Lesson? Why I Write You Are Worthy!
