Can Gratitude Conquer Defeatism?

My answer to the question, “Can gratitude conquer defeatism?” is a definite yes! I have discovered that the courage to be grateful regardless of what I face is the most effective weapon against my daily battles.

When I first became a mother, a friend introduced me to Brite Music, created by Janeen Brady https://britekidsbritemusic.com/about/. I fell in love with this resource and used it to reinforce godly attributes in my children as they grew. The songs and stories also imprinted on my brain and positively impacted my life.

“Gratitude Attitude” is one of Janeen Brady’s creations https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZejOrBmt3R8. The idea behind this song stuck in my subconscious. It evolved into an invaluable tool, becoming a central theme in helping to pull me out of my years of deep depression https://crystalmmhuntley.com/2024/03/suicide-its-a-devastating-effect-of-abuse-how-to-get-help/.

What this children’s song did for me proved invaluable. If I had allowed depression to fill me with an attitude of defeatism, I would have lost the battle, for defeatism often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which I have seen play out in many people’s lives.

Can Gratitude Alone Conquer Defeatism?

But gratitude alone isn’t enough. To be effective, it must be coupled with serenity. I learned that lesson the hard way. I wasted far too many years in fruitless attempts to change what I had no power to change. However, with the concept behind the “Serenity Prayer” added into my efforts, https://www.pray.com/articles/the-serenity-prayer-origin-and-meaning, I gained the ability to recognize what I can and can’t change and how to be at peace with that knowledge.

For example, I have shared in previous blog posts aspects of the twenty-six years I spent with my children’s father. (I refrain from calling this past relationship a marriage because I prefer reserving that term for relationships based on the foundation of love.) I remained with this man for so long for many complicated reasons. One of those reasons is that I held onto the mistaken childhood belief that if I behaved well enough, he would want to change for me.

I thought my actions could change his behavior. But no one person has the power to change another. And if someone does change for you, heed my warning; that change will not last. I also misused the concept of gratitude, using it without serenity. This misinterpretation led me to focus only on what I had to be grateful for and blinded me to the many red flags that waved in front of my face.

Like mold that, if ignored, will multiply, those red-flag attributes also intensified, spreading poison onto every aspect of my life and the lives of my children. Before I could gain the courage to leave that volatile relationship, I first had to realize that the only person I have the power to change is myself. Then, I had to commit to change me.

How Gratitude Conquers Defeatism

I feel the need to clarify myself. Gratitude holds extreme power when exercised correctly. It trains us to look toward the blessings in our lives instead of becoming trapped only in our hardships.

For example, during a heavy snowstorm last month, as Rich plowed aside an abundant amount of heavy, wet snow, the bolts that held the plow to the front of his truck sheared off. In a situation like the one I just described, it would have been natural to focus on the hardship a broken plow head would present. Without denying the problem (serenity), Rich took control of his thought process and focused on the blessings (gratitude). Only the bolts had broken, not the costly plow head. The hardware store exists less than a mile up the road. Rich can replace those bolts with ease.

Over the years, as I have pondered some of the hardships I’ve experienced, the question often arose as to why. Why did I have to go through forty-six years of abuse? Why do I even now have to suffer from a debilitating health condition? Why did a certain loved one have to pass away?

We all have our “why” questions. And we all have moments where we don’t know how to find peace without having those questions answered. Yet times like these provide an opportunity to exercise faith. If we had answers to those pondering questions, would faith have a purpose? To find peace with our lack of answers is where surrender comes in, for only God knows the bigger picture. Do we trust in the All-Knowing Lord’s almighty plan?

The Cost of Knowledge

Chapter three of Genesis depicts Eve’s temptation to gain knowledge meant only for our Divine Parent. Weakness overtook Eve, and she gave in to that temptation. However, nothing comes without a cost, and the knowledge Eve chose came with a mighty high price tag. This costly choice included not only separation from her Savior but also ours. Included in this price tag was also our joy and much more.

But no loving parent abandons their children. Our Heavenly Parent did not provide us with solely the tools of gratitude and serenity but also the ability to learn to utilize and properly balance them.

To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.

Balancing Gratitude and Serenity

Recognizing your emotions is a critical part of mastering this balancing act. Emotions should never be ignored. Emotions must be acknowledged to move through them healthily. However, as you work through your feelings, I must caution you not to get stuck. Allow yourself the grace to move on from those painful emotions and into joy.

I struggled with this concept when, after finally gaining the courage to leave my ex, I lost my children due to his deceitful finagling. The pain of everything I had experienced from him, combined with the abuse from my childhood, flung me into a dark space. I thought joy could never penetrate the thick walls of depression that enwrapped me. I also struggled with the influential lie that the only way I could prove to my children how much I loved them was through my misery. Such a deceitful thought enwrapped another layer of chains around me, holding me in despair.

God does not want us to be miserable. Our loving Savior wants us to experience true joy, the type of joy that only a Divine Parent could provide. One way to secure this joy is through balancing gratitude and serenity.

I invite you to join me next time as I share the connection between broken trust and instability.

Note to My Readers

Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift here at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley.

An additional site where you can find my books is https://bkbookshoppe.com. However, if you prefer to purchase from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N.

Each purchase of my books supports my mission to break the chains of abuse. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.

***The Hidden Diamond*** – Immerse yourself in a journey that uncovers the worth of a wounded soul amongst a lifetime of sin.

***Robin’s Gift*** – Lost and alone, Natalie’s biggest dream is to fulfill her desire to be loved. A tragic accident calls her home. Can she return and face her greatest fear?

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Can Gratitude Alone Conquer Defeatism?

How Gratitude Conquers Defeatism

The Cost of Knowledge

Balancing Gratitude and Serenity

Note to My Readers

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