A hidden link to survivor’s guilt and healing. So why do some people heal when others break? This question is an ageless one that survivors have asked countless times. You know how it goes—one person, scheduled on a flight, cancels their reservation at the last minute. The plane crashes in mid-air. Yet, the unforeseen cancelation spared that person’s life. But what about the lives of all those others?
A military platoon on a mission is hit by a grenade. Only one soldier makes it out alive. He lies in a hospital bed severely wounded and wonders why his life was spared but not the lives of his comrades in service.
A ferocious tornado storms through a neighborhood, demolishing to mere splinters every home except for one. That spared family surveys the incomprehensible damage that surrounds them. The question of “why were only we protected” places a dark shadow over the gratitude within their heart.
These three scenarios I described are examples of survivor’s guilt. It remains common among those who make it out of a tragedy alive or unscathed, while others do not. Due to such situations, countless people petition God with the question of why.
I also have battled a form of survivor’s guilt. Many therapists who have guided me through the bulk of healing from my abusive past have stated amazement at how far I have come. More than one therapist declared that due to the severity of the abuse I had endured, the fact that I survived with my mental factors intact is a rarity. Most people, if they made it through alive, would at the very least exist with shattered mental facilities. They attribute the reason I did not break to my being blessed with a strong mental constitution.
Only One Life Spared
We may never know why God chose to spare the life of one person but not another. People have grappled in many directions for an answer to that baffling question. I understand the temptation but see it as a fruitless search.
“I don’t think the way you think. The way you work isn’t the way I work.” God’s Decree. “For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. (Isaiah 55:8) (MSG)
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I don’t know why my Savior lifted me out of the fire. I know many who have suffered abuse similar to what I went through, but for unknown reasons, they remain seriously broken. Because of this knowledge, I, too, have suffered survivor’s guilt. But instead of allowing this quilt to cripple me, I have used it as a launching pad to assist others trapped in the vicious claws of abuse. I feel commissioned to use what I have learned to help them break those chains of abuse and guide them down a path toward healing.
Still, why do some people make it through tragedies victoriously while others don’t? People have asked this question throughout generations. Many who are well-meaning yet misguided recklessly toss out the saying that the answer lies within each person’s choices. To some extent, I see the truth in their statement. However, I believe the answer contains far more layers than that simple and extreme black-or-white one.
More Than a Choice
Yes, the choices someone makes have a monumental effect on their life. There is no disputing this fact. However, one must consider the multitude of other contributing factors. For example, the strength and makeup of a person’s mental constitution vastly differ from one person to another. Environmental circumstances also play a fact. Even two children growing up in the same home can have vastly different outside influences. Not to mention, parents often treat their children differently.
To give an example, I will use my sister and me. Any frequent reader of my posts and those of you who have picked up my books can easily derive that I came from an abusive background. Part of that abuse included an extreme difference between the way my parents treated my sister and me.
Also, our unique personalities caused my sister and me to respond differently to the same events. Such minute variances will send a person down an entirely different path. My sister has journeyed far down her healing past, yet because her path varies from mine, similar milestones exist in a different order on her route than they do on mine.
Choose Kindness
We each have the choice to heal or to revel in our pain. That choice is universal. However, be kind to yourself and others as the effects of wounds make their glaring presence. You will never completely know another person’s story. Also, the person who struggles the most may have trudged ahead far more miles than those who appear to have it all together. We don’t know the starting point of another.
Note To My Readers
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can purchase The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY THE BOOK – Crystal MM Huntley. However, if you prefer to purchase my books from Amazon, you will find The Hidden Diamond at http://www.amazon.com/The-Hidden-Diamond-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/1665573767 and Robin’s Gift at https://www.amazon.com/Robins-Gift-Crystal-MM-Huntley/dp/B0CVL7746N. Other places to buy my books are at https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing.
Advancing My Healing Journey A Reinterpretation Back to the Basics Blessings Surround Us Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Christmas Complex CPTSD Don’t Get Stuck. Excerpt from The Hidden Diamond Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift Glorify God Through Your Challenges. Happenings or Interpretations? Hiding From Ourselves Hope Invite Listen to the Soft Whisper. Master New Skills Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Rock Climbing Seek Understanding Shame Has No Place Summer’s Story Surrender Surrendering Take a Step Back. Take the Challenge The Choice Is Yours The Commitment to Braking Chains of Abuse The Gift of New Perspective The Hidden Diamond The Still Small Voice To My Readers Unhealed Wounds Unwittingly Harm Others. Upcoming Posts Use Caution We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. What Is Your Lesson? Why I Write You Are Worthy!
