Avoid this myth and stop Being a Victim. Have you fallen into the trap of the common lie that you must forgive and forget? Sad to say, many have.
Heal Your Soul Layer by Layer
“As you know, most of my writing centers on healing—especially from the effects of abuse—and forgiveness. These topics remain constant within my books, blog, and even the “Crystalisms” on my Facebook group. For a soul to heal, forgiveness is crucial. When a person forgives, they find a new-found freedom. However, effective forgiveness must always contain carefully placed boundaries.
- Layer One
A perpetrator’s actions always produce devastating effects, robbing their victim of so much. Let’s peal back the layers of the “forgiveness fallacy.” One layer is the belief that forgiveness is for the offender. Yet, it is just the opposite. Forgiveness is for the victim. Regardless of how much another has taken from you, if you choose the path of forgiveness, they can never take your soul.
- Layer Two
A second layer contains the common fallacy of “forgive and forget.” This phrase is too often carelessly thrown about. It places victims in harm’s way. This reckless mistruth gives people the impression that they should continue life as if nothing happened. However, doing this will leave you stranded in dangerous waters. Genuine forgiveness does not forgive the act. Nor does it forget what that person is capable of. On the contrary, it arms you with God’s peace while disarming the sting of bitterness and healing your soul.
- Layer Three
The notion that forgiveness means letting a perpetrator off the hook is another common deception. Alternatively, it means finding peace within the situation. This newfound peace frees you to move on to a better more fulfilling life.
Repentance
While forgiveness is for the victim, repentance is for the transgressor. Repentance means confessing sin, asking for forgiveness, and making necessary changes to assure they never again violate another. A solitary “sorry” does not qualify as repentance. Yet, it often is used by perpetrators to fake remorse. True repentance means to change the direction of their behavior. Another way of stating this is taking responsibility for a behavior and its consequences. Without such resolve, the person who abused another continues to be dangerous. Sadly, most in need of true repentance remain unable to do so.
The Hidden Diamond
In The Hidden Diamond, I use the enchantment of fiction to illustrate how true repentance can look. I do this through Aldous, my perpetrator. In my book, he turns to God with an open heart and seeks repentance while fully confessing his shameful sins. Aldous seeks forgiveness from God but along with that, he becomes willing to make the necessary changes to be transformed. Psalm 57:2 reminds us that God hears our cries, understands our needs, and comes to our aid when we call upon our Savior.
To see more Crystalisms, go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1360983917796761.
Take the Challenge
Each of us needs forgiveness, whether victim, perpetrator or—as in the case of Aldous—both. I challenge you to inspect your heart and seek areas where you need repentance. Call upon your Savior to shower you with loving grace. God’s guidance is critical to make the necessary changes so you can sincerely repent.
Note To My Readers
May all who indulge in my written creations find entertainment, enjoyment, and education. I also hope to inspire you to move forth in your healing journey.
Hopefully, you have gained value from this blog post. If you have, I would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase my books. You can buy The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift at BUY-the-BOOK https://www.amazon.com/s?i=digital-. Two additional sites where you can find my books are https://bkbookshoppe.com and https://bizybookstore.com.
Each purchase of my books supports my mission to help those trapped in abuse break those chains and find their way to freedom while drawing closer to their Maker. Once you have read either of my books, feel free to leave a review on the site you purchased from. Your review will encourage others also to seek out the path of healing. We all know someone who needs a gentle push to approach this sensitive topic. Maybe that someone is you. The Hidden Diamond and Robin’s Gift provide a perfect, safe avenue. I invite you to join the multitudes who have discovered the value within the covers of my books.
Alexandra All souls are priceless no matter their past. A personal reason to testify. Assure myself with a pep talk. Boundaries Breaking Out Breathe into the space of peace. Complex CPTSD Continue to write for God. Difficult people can become a catalyst for growth. Discover My Newest Post Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome Forgiveness Free Giveaway From Robin’s Gift God chooses. Grace Enters Hope How I got out of the wheelchair. Installing Healthy Boundaries Invite Keep up the good work. Master New Skills My Mission My Story No meaningful journey exists without pitfalls. Note To My Readers Resources Robin’s Gift Robin’s Gift – A Sneak Peak Share my healing journey. Taboo topics have infiltrated people. Take the Challenge Thank you. The Behind Story The Hidden Diamond Transcend into healthy boundaries. Upcoming Posts We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know. Why I Write Writing Is My Passion Writing Mirrors Life You Are Worthy! Your Gain “When I am weak then I am strong.”
